No one wants to admit it but there’s always more to learn about sex. Unless you get really lucky with sex ed at school, you can be well into your twenties or in some cases thirties before it begins to make sense – and really feel good.
In fact, a recent survey conducted by Lovehoney found almost one in 10 Brits did not begin to enjoy sex until later in life, between the ages of 35 and 44. A further 7% reported not enjoying sex until they were over the age of 45. So what do people wish they had learned about sex sooner? Keep reading to find out.
1. The importance of communication
Understanding the importance of communication and speaking up about what you like is the number one thing respondents wished they had learned sooner, with 30% of those surveyed agreeing.
2. How to feel sexy in your own skin
Feeling sexy in your own skin was one of the most popular lessons for women, with a third (33%) agreeing, compared to only 19% of men.
3. You don’t need to force yourself outside of your comfort zone
Those who identify as non-binary wish they knew sooner that they didn’t need to force themselves out of their comfort zone (36%) – the highest-rated lesson for this demographic.
4. Never be ashamed of what you find pleasure in
One quarter of Brits wish they’d know they should not be ashamed of what they find pleasure in, and 17% of respondents wish they’d known it’s totally normal to have kinks. Sexual pleasure comes in many forms, and you should feel comfortable and happy to explore this.
5. It’s okay to say ’no’
Knowing that it is okay to say ‘no’ was another popular learning among women (26%), non-binary individuals (25%) and men (16%), and we cannot stress the importance of this enough. Stay within your comfort zone and communicate with your partner or partners.
6. Experimenting with sex toys
Experimenting with sex toys in the bedroom is not to be shied away from, and 22% of Brits wish they had known and explored this sooner, while 16% say they had also wished whey’d known it’s totally normal to use lube in the bedroom.
7. An orgasm does not have to be the goal of sex
Over one in five Brits (22%) agree that they wish they would have known that orgasm doesn’t need to be the goal of sex, and it’s okay not to climax and still enjoy yourself. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be closing the orgasm gap though.
8. How to make your partner climax
The greatest learning for men was how to make their partner climax, with almost 30% of male participants agreeing, compared to only 16% of females. If you need a little recap, then read an expert’s guide to the female orgasm.
9. The importance of consent
Understanding the importance of consent is incredibly important, yet one in five people feel they didn’t learn about this soon enough. Some say it’s never too early to teach it – nowadays there are books for kids about the power of no.
10. Porn sets an unrealistic standard for sex
Many of us know that porn sex doesn’t equate to real sex, yet one in five of those surveyed wish they would have understood this sooner.
