The instinct to simply never worry about what Donald Trump is up to a good one. It should be nurtured. As a nation, as human beings, the more days that can pass without even using the word “Trump,” the better. Players of bridge should seriously consider whether they might want to come up with another term for wild cards like, maybe, “wild.” Brass bands might think about adopting the term “Large cornet” (or “Slideless trombone,” take your choice).
In almost every circumstance, the best Trump is no Trump. And when no Trump won’t do, the answer is the least Trump. Deliberately going out of the way to check in on what’s happening to the Man Who Cannot Tweet seems like an intrinsically self-destructive activity. Like smashing your thumb with a hammer one one more time, just to see if it still hurts.
And yet … sometimes, just maybe, there are reasons why it’s worth tipping back that rock and taking just one quick look at what’s squiggling underneath.
All of this is just an excuse to show a single little Twitter-embedded bit of video. But this is not just any bit of video. It’s one that answers conclusively one of life’s great questions: What the hell is that thing on Donald Trump’s head? The answer is clearly a groundhog. Because, as this video shows, Trump is trapped in a time loop; one in which he is forced to relive his 2020 loss to Joe Biden over, and over, and over.
Of course, in the movie version of Groundhog Day, he time-locked character was able to escape by finally learning and growing as a person. So … Trump will be trapped for eternity.
In almost every circumstance, the best Trump is no Trump. And when no Trump won’t do, the answer is the least Trump. Deliberately going out of the way to check in on what’s happening to the Man Who Cannot Tweet seems like an intrinsically self-destructive activity. Like smashing your thumb with a hammer one one more time, just to see if it still hurts.
And yet … sometimes, just maybe, there are reasons why it’s worth tipping back that rock and taking just one quick look at what’s squiggling underneath.
All of this is just an excuse to show a single little Twitter-embedded bit of video. But this is not just any bit of video. It’s one that answers conclusively one of life’s great questions: What the hell is that thing on Donald Trump’s head? The answer is clearly a groundhog. Because, as this video shows, Trump is trapped in a time loop; one in which he is forced to relive his 2020 loss to Joe Biden over, and over, and over.
Of course, in the movie version of Groundhog Day, he time-locked character was able to escape by finally learning and growing as a person. So … Trump will be trapped for eternity.