30 Tweets About The Funny Names Kids Give Things

[Brexiter]

Kids don’t always use the dictionary-official words for things, but the terms they come up with are often even better than the real deal.

Lucky for us, the parents of Twitter share their children’s hilarious malapropisms and creative turns of phrase – from “ukalady” to “toe salon.” We’ve rounded up 30 funny tweets about what kids call things. Enjoy!

my 4yo calls my small guitar a ukulady

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) October 17, 2021​

Friend's 3 yr old: DO YOU THINK I'M A DOLLAR BILL?!

Me:

Friend, *embarrassed*: He means "adorable"

— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) September 21, 2021​

My 4 year old loves baboons. He had a red baboon and a green baboon and enjoyed kicking them around the house. His green baboon popped and he cried so much I had to promise to get him a new baboon. One day someone will tell him to say “balloons” and not baboons but it won’t be me

— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 12, 2021​

The preschool just said my kid had to be potty-trained before school started. They did NOT say I had to get my toddler to stop calling the toilet seat the “butt hole.”

— The Dad (@thedad) September 8, 2021​

My 5-year-old is learning about exercise & endurance, but he keeps saying insurance. Yesterday, he asked me if you need good insurance when you run. I told him at my age, you had better.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 28, 2021​

6 asked what the biggest number was. I told her infinity.
4 now calls it "amphibian", and no one may correct him ever.

— Ohio mom of two #BLM ?️‍? (@OhioMomoftwo) October 4, 2021​

My 4yo calls the nail salon the Toe Salon, and anyway…that’s what it’s called now.

— Heather #BLM?️‍? (@dishs_up) July 22, 2021​

If my 4 y.o. Ever stops saying “cupcape” instead of “cupcake”, I’m burning the world to the ground.

— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) January 11, 2019​

My kid just referred to Thursday as Little Friday and ummmmmmm I’m 100% ready to make that name change official.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 29, 2021​

my 2 yo calls blueberries “booties”

i love being a mom????

— AriesDEMON? (@justaflyjada) October 26, 2021​

Just when I thought my 4 year old saying “cockcock” instead of chocolate was bad enough, he’s now started saying “cocklick” instead

— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 17, 2021​

Need everyone to know my 4 year old calls Darth Vader “Darth Tomater”

— Paul Palmeri (@ThisPaul) October 20, 2021​

My daughter says “cheese” instead of “geez” and I swear I’m never correcting her because it’s the absolute cutest thing.
“I just want to wear my pjs all day, cheese mom.”

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 22, 2021​

My daughter calls sniffles "jiggles" and anyone who doesn't start using this now hates fun.

"Are you feeling sick?"

"Nope, it's just my usual case of the morning jiggles."

— Emme Reynolds (@TheEmmeReynolds) May 19, 2021​

My daughter keeps calling the dental assistant a waitress and I’m never gonna correct her

— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) September 14, 2021​

My 5-year-old calls the hair on my arms and legs fur. I’m a werewolf now.

— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 22, 2021​

My 5yo is starting Kindergarten in two weeks and to say it feels surreal is an understatement but she still refers to her favorite Star Wars droid as “CPPO” so gonna hold on to that for as long as I can.

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 28, 2021​

There has been a crew of roofers working at our house for a few days, and my 6yo refers to them as the “builder mans,” and now I shall hereinafter refer to any handy person as a Builder Man going forward.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) September 30, 2021​

My 4 year old calls uppercase and lowercase “the big version” and “the little version” ?

— Darby Stouffer (@DarbyStouffer) October 25, 2021​

My daughter says "lasturday" instead of yesterday and I'd like her to be in charge of new words please.

— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 24, 2021​

My kid is nearly ten, and just called cauliflower “white broccoli” because we don’t bring that disgusting vegetable into our home.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 14, 2021​

12 just called bugles “booglies “

So, that’s what they’re called now.

Arguing with preteens is just too hard

— Heather #BLM?️‍? (@dishs_up) July 12, 2021​

My preschooler just referred to diaper rash as “poopy rash” and I’ll never call it anything else now.

— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) February 16, 2020​

: My six year old calls thinking Brain School.

— kate (@iwannabek8_) October 24, 2021​

My 8yo just referred to Santa as a “Christmas wizard.”

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) November 28, 2019​

My five-year-old just referred to my boobs as “long mountains” so let’s make that a thing.

— Janelle Hanchett (@JanelleHanchett) June 6, 2019​

My toddler just referred to a fly as an “air-spider,” and now I’m thinking we should probably allow toddlers to name more things.

— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 27, 2019​

One of the biggest challenges of parenthood is keeping a straight face when you tell your child not to say “chocolate pee pee”.

— Marissa S. Pumpkins ???? (@michimama75) October 21, 2021​

My 7 year-old calls his big toe his “thumb toe” and I hope he never stops.

— Laura Thien (@ThienAngst) July 25, 2021​

Instead of “the weekend,” my 4yo calls Saturday and Sunday “iPad days,” if you’re wondering how my parenting is going.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 18, 2020​

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