Is Tucker Carlson literally on Vladimir Putin’s payroll? He has to be, right? As the free world attempts to stand up to this ex-KGB thug who brazenly attacked our country and poisons political adversaries nearly as often as Tucky-son poisons minds, Fox’s resident trust fund bloviator is giving literal aid and comfort to the enemy.
You might say this foppish fish stick fuckwit is a modern-day Tokyo Rose—only slightly more transparent. On Tuesday—the 80th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor—Carlson figured it was high time to dump acid on the vital foundations of our post-World War II global order. In other words, he thinks Russia invading a sovereign neighbor is no big deal—because swarthy folk from the south are crossing our border to secure employment during a crushing labor shortage. Oh, noes! The bad foreign people are gonna strengthen our economy and enhance our culture like they’ve been doing throughout our nation’s history! It’s just like when Vlad sends the tanks rumbling over the border of a weaker adversary. No difference at all!
Watch:
Not sure how far Tucker can stretch the false equivalence before his viewers notice. But it’s kind of ironic that he went off on his tirade on the anniversary of a real attack on our actual sovereignty. After all, I don’t think the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor because they were looking to snag open fry cook jobs at Carl’s Jr.
There’s more of this nonsense at this Fox News link. (If you don’t want to click on a Fox link, I don’t blame you. I just fed my poor unsuspecting computer a Fox website cookie, and now it thinks I dry hump MyPillows while creepily ogling an increasingly lascivious series of Ronald Reagan Franklin Mint commemorative plates.) But here’s more of Tucker’s spew, in case you have the stomach for it:
Of course, this is nothing new for Liar Tuck. In November, he actually said he was rooting for Russia in any conflict with Ukraine. Because apparently defending democracies against dictators and advocating for peace around the globe is for beta cuck losers like you, me, and Joe Biden.
Oh, and official Russian state media has noticed Tucker’s deeply flawed treasoning and is using it to propagandize to the world.
Well done, comrade! For some reason I thought the U.S. was all about standing up for democracy in the face of saber-rattling from tin-pot tyrants like Putin. For that matter, I thought we were supposed to oppose fascism, both here and abroad. I also seem to remember Fox News continually comparing liberals who thought maybe—just maybe—we shouldn’t invade Iraq for no reason to infamous Nazi-appeaser Neville Chamberlain.
Guess that was an outrage for another time—huh, Tuck?
Enjoy your holidays, Tucker, and I hope Vlad slips an extra tin of borscht into your stocking on Christmas Eve. You’ve earned it. Oh, have you ever.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
You might say this foppish fish stick fuckwit is a modern-day Tokyo Rose—only slightly more transparent. On Tuesday—the 80th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor—Carlson figured it was high time to dump acid on the vital foundations of our post-World War II global order. In other words, he thinks Russia invading a sovereign neighbor is no big deal—because swarthy folk from the south are crossing our border to secure employment during a crushing labor shortage. Oh, noes! The bad foreign people are gonna strengthen our economy and enhance our culture like they’ve been doing throughout our nation’s history! It’s just like when Vlad sends the tanks rumbling over the border of a weaker adversary. No difference at all!
Watch:
Not sure how far Tucker can stretch the false equivalence before his viewers notice. But it’s kind of ironic that he went off on his tirade on the anniversary of a real attack on our actual sovereignty. After all, I don’t think the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor because they were looking to snag open fry cook jobs at Carl’s Jr.
There’s more of this nonsense at this Fox News link. (If you don’t want to click on a Fox link, I don’t blame you. I just fed my poor unsuspecting computer a Fox website cookie, and now it thinks I dry hump MyPillows while creepily ogling an increasingly lascivious series of Ronald Reagan Franklin Mint commemorative plates.) But here’s more of Tucker’s spew, in case you have the stomach for it:
Of course, this is nothing new for Liar Tuck. In November, he actually said he was rooting for Russia in any conflict with Ukraine. Because apparently defending democracies against dictators and advocating for peace around the globe is for beta cuck losers like you, me, and Joe Biden.
Oh, and official Russian state media has noticed Tucker’s deeply flawed treasoning and is using it to propagandize to the world.
Well done, comrade! For some reason I thought the U.S. was all about standing up for democracy in the face of saber-rattling from tin-pot tyrants like Putin. For that matter, I thought we were supposed to oppose fascism, both here and abroad. I also seem to remember Fox News continually comparing liberals who thought maybe—just maybe—we shouldn’t invade Iraq for no reason to infamous Nazi-appeaser Neville Chamberlain.
Guess that was an outrage for another time—huh, Tuck?
Enjoy your holidays, Tucker, and I hope Vlad slips an extra tin of borscht into your stocking on Christmas Eve. You’ve earned it. Oh, have you ever.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.