From the Blastocyst Community Bulletin Board...
Continued...
Cheers and Jeers welcomes our new fellow citizens. And now, our feature presentation…
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 26, 2024
Note: Today at Piggly Wiggly, buy a carton of our fresh, juicy strawberries and receive 50 percent off a can of nuclear fissile material in heavy cling syrup. Piggly Wiggly: Quality you can count on, at a price you can afford, from neighbors you probably shouldn't entirely trust.
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By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til the State of the Union address: 10
Days 'til Schell's Bockfest in New Ulm, Minnesota: 5
First-time unemployment claims announced last week, down 12k from the week before: 201,000
Drop in the mortgage delinquency rate in January, with past-due mortgages down across the board: -3.38%
Estimated number of U.S. cities expected to experience record high temperatures this week: 200
Current ice coverage over the Great Lakes, which are usually around 40% this time of year: 6%
Years since the release of Irwin Allen's disaster film The Towering Inferno: 50
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Monday waggies…
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JEERS to the right-wing crime machine. Republicans might be able to point to Senator Bob Menendez as an example of a corrupt Democrat. But, my god, their list includes Donald Trump, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Matt Gaetz, half the Supreme Court, hundreds of January 6 insurrectionists and “faker electors,” and now this asshole…finally:
LaPierre recently stepped down as head of the NRA. Reason: he’s sick. Brother, you said a mouthful.
CHEERS to strength weakness in numbers. What happens when a cult's hatred burns so red-hot for so long that eventually what passes for their brains gets numb to it and looks for other things that are more attention worthy? Glad you asked:
Owners of the sites say they expect those numbers to rise again just as soon as the Alabama Supreme Court rules that frozen embryos are right-wing bloggers.
JEERS to the 2/26 that was our 9/11 before 9/11 was our 9/11. On February 26, 1993, a bomb went off inside a parking garage under the World Trade Center in New York. Six people died and over a thousand were injured. It was a real test for newly-minted President Bill Clinton who, as I recall, caught the evildoers and threw 'em in jail. And we all lived happily ever after. Right? (I've been pretty busy the last 31 years...)
JEERS to boys and their destructive toys. On February 26, 1903, the inventor of the rapid-fire Gatling gun, Richard Gatling, died. His last words: "Of course it's not loaded. I took the NRA safety course. There’s no way I’d be sitting here cleaning my Gatling gun if it was lo...”
CHEERS to breaking new ground. Meanwhile, back at the moon, a lonely solar-powered tin can is looking around and wondering what it did that warranted deportation from Earth. You're making history, little Odysseus. You're making history…
They should bring me in as a consultant. I have experience ending up horizontal after getting high as a kite.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 26, 2014
MEH to a big waste of time. The House is back in session this week and they've got a lot on their plate, by which I mean food because lord knows they don’t have any legislation in the oven. Meanwhile, today President Obama has a private Oval Office meeting with Speaker Boehner. On their published agenda: discussing important legislative goals, including immigration reform and raising the minimum wage (Obama), and cutting spending and mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds (Boehner). On the actual agenda: discussing how long they need to sit around not talking about the published agenda so that people will believe they actually talked about it. So far the leading guess on Intrade is 21 minutes.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Deep Thoughts...by Jack Handey. Like Stephen Wright, he can cram more beautiful, bizarre absurdity into a sentence or two than most people can in a thousand. His books, which I've dog-eared to death, have a place of honor on my bookshelf. Without further ado, here are a few of our favorite Deep Thoughts to celebrate Jack’s 75th birthday, which was yesterday:
Have a deep Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Continued...
Cheers and Jeers welcomes our new fellow citizens. And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 26, 2024
Note: Today at Piggly Wiggly, buy a carton of our fresh, juicy strawberries and receive 50 percent off a can of nuclear fissile material in heavy cling syrup. Piggly Wiggly: Quality you can count on, at a price you can afford, from neighbors you probably shouldn't entirely trust.
-
By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til the State of the Union address: 10
Days 'til Schell's Bockfest in New Ulm, Minnesota: 5
First-time unemployment claims announced last week, down 12k from the week before: 201,000
Drop in the mortgage delinquency rate in January, with past-due mortgages down across the board: -3.38%
Estimated number of U.S. cities expected to experience record high temperatures this week: 200
Current ice coverage over the Great Lakes, which are usually around 40% this time of year: 6%
Years since the release of Irwin Allen's disaster film The Towering Inferno: 50
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Monday waggies…
-
JEERS to the right-wing crime machine. Republicans might be able to point to Senator Bob Menendez as an example of a corrupt Democrat. But, my god, their list includes Donald Trump, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Matt Gaetz, half the Supreme Court, hundreds of January 6 insurrectionists and “faker electors,” and now this asshole…finally:
Wayne LaPierre diverted millions of dollars away from the National Rifle Association to live luxuriously, while the gun rights group failed to properly manage its finances, a jury found Friday. The verdict comes after five days of deliberations and ends a seven-week long civil corruption trial in New York City. […]
Guilty! Burn the heretic!
The case against the NRA was brought on by a lawsuit filed in 2020 by New York Attorney General Letitia James, who accused LaPierre and other current and former executives of flouting state laws and internal policies to enrich themselves. […]
"LaPierre and senior leaders at the NRA blatantly abused their positions and broke the law," she said. "But today, after years of rampant corruption and self-dealing, Wayne LaPierre and the NRA are finally being held accountable."
LaPierre recently stepped down as head of the NRA. Reason: he’s sick. Brother, you said a mouthful.
CHEERS to strength weakness in numbers. What happens when a cult's hatred burns so red-hot for so long that eventually what passes for their brains gets numb to it and looks for other things that are more attention worthy? Glad you asked:
Owners of the sites say they expect those numbers to rise again just as soon as the Alabama Supreme Court rules that frozen embryos are right-wing bloggers.
JEERS to the 2/26 that was our 9/11 before 9/11 was our 9/11. On February 26, 1993, a bomb went off inside a parking garage under the World Trade Center in New York. Six people died and over a thousand were injured. It was a real test for newly-minted President Bill Clinton who, as I recall, caught the evildoers and threw 'em in jail. And we all lived happily ever after. Right? (I've been pretty busy the last 31 years...)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to boys and their destructive toys. On February 26, 1903, the inventor of the rapid-fire Gatling gun, Richard Gatling, died. His last words: "Of course it's not loaded. I took the NRA safety course. There’s no way I’d be sitting here cleaning my Gatling gun if it was lo...”
CHEERS to breaking new ground. Meanwhile, back at the moon, a lonely solar-powered tin can is looking around and wondering what it did that warranted deportation from Earth. You're making history, little Odysseus. You're making history…
It was the first successful lunar landing by an American vehicle since the end of the Apollo era in 1972, and the first-ever by a private spacecraft. And it took some quick thinking by the mission team to pull it off. […]
“Hello, Triple-A?”
While they're still analyzing data, it's pretty clear that Odysseus didn't land vertically as intended, Altemus and Tim Crain, Intuitive Machines co-founder and CTO, said during today's briefing.
Odysseus' . . . instruments and important subsystems appear to be functional, Altemus said. "We have the sun impinging on the solar arrays and charging our batteries," he said. "We are providing power to the spacecraft, and we're at 100% state of charge. That's fantastic."
They should bring me in as a consultant. I have experience ending up horizontal after getting high as a kite.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: February 26, 2014
MEH to a big waste of time. The House is back in session this week and they've got a lot on their plate, by which I mean food because lord knows they don’t have any legislation in the oven. Meanwhile, today President Obama has a private Oval Office meeting with Speaker Boehner. On their published agenda: discussing important legislative goals, including immigration reform and raising the minimum wage (Obama), and cutting spending and mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds (Boehner). On the actual agenda: discussing how long they need to sit around not talking about the published agenda so that people will believe they actually talked about it. So far the leading guess on Intrade is 21 minutes.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to Deep Thoughts...by Jack Handey. Like Stephen Wright, he can cram more beautiful, bizarre absurdity into a sentence or two than most people can in a thousand. His books, which I've dog-eared to death, have a place of honor on my bookshelf. Without further ado, here are a few of our favorite Deep Thoughts to celebrate Jack’s 75th birthday, which was yesterday:
» Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
» For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.
» I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
Happy birthday, Jack.
» If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
» I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
» Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
» I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not.
» If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's glove touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.
Have a deep Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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