Late Night Snark: Pre-Gobble Gobble Edition
Continued...
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 19, 2021
Note: A reminder that today is Have A Bad Day Day. If you violated the spirit of the occasion by having a good day, that would be very bad, which would actually make your good day a bad day. Good for you! (In a bad way. Which is good! But that’s bad. Good! Good bad!)
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By the Numbers:
Starts in 15 days!!!
Days 'til winter: 32
Days 'til the start of the Great Dickens Christmas Fair in San Francisco: 15
Portion of Americans polled by ABC News/The Washington Post who want the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade: 1-in-4
House vote to censure Rep. Paul Gosar (Cult-AZ) and strip him of his committee assignments: 223 Yes – 207 No
Estimated decline in child poverty in July, thanks to new Democratic policies: 40%
Percent chance that America's Catholic bishops totally caved this week on preventing President Biden from receiving communion: 100%
Rank of stuffing, gravy, and mashed taters among most popular Thanksgiving sides: #1, #2, #3
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Baby Yoda's dog???
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CHEERS to good news. As we head into our 44th consecutive weekend of normalcy under the Biden administration, it seems like a good time for a little reminder that, despite the pessimism of the pity party-prone American people, who wouldn’t know progress if it hit 'em in the face like a flying flounder in a hurricane, the economy—supposedly their #1 issue—is absolutely crushing it these days:
But President Biden hasn’t made JFK Jr. magically appear on the White House lawn yet or opened a network of bleach-injection clinics, so he's a total failure. Oh well. Maybe next week. Maybe.
CHEERS to the scrapper from Scranton. Speaking of the Big Guy, Happy Birthday (and many blessings on your camels) tomorrow to America's 46th President, whose way with words—intentional and otherwise—is a thing to behold:
And the best thing anyone ever said to Donald Trump's face, and boy do I envy Joe for being the one to do it:
A year ago he shut him up real good, with a little help from 80 million of his friends. Joe turns 79 tomorrow—and that's no malarkey. But it is a BFD.
CHEERS to happy endings. A pair of victories for unions this week. First, enough of the demands by the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees' (IATSE) were met to avert the largest private-sector strike since 2007. And two days ago the month-long strike by UAW workers at John Deere ended with a new contract:
Among the well-deserved spoils for the workers: an immediate 10-percent raise, two future 5 percent raises, cost-of-living adjustments, an $8,500 ratification bonus, and they all get to pick one combine harvester from the scratch 'n dent lot.
Only surviving photo of the Mayflower arriving at the new land.
CHEERS to reaching dry land. On Sunday’s date in 1620, after being denied boarding passes at Heathrow because they were on the no-fly list, a bunch of renegade "pilgrims" from England with a bad case of B.O. and no sense of humor landed in New England after 66 days at sea and promptly got all quill-crazy, signing the Mayflower Compact…
“...to enact, constitute, and frame just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience."
By the way, the ship was destined for the northern edge of the Virginia Colony, but they ended up dropping anchor in a totally different place: Provincetown, Massachusetts. After spending several years reviewing all the available evidence, I've come to an inescapable conclusion: GPS sucked back then.
CHEERS to home vegetation. I dunno…I can't decide if I should spend the weekend soaking in a nice borax bath to suck the government nanotechnology out of my pores, or watch some TV. If the latter, there are few odds and ends worth watching, starting with the MSNBC lineup tonight, but probably not HBO's Real Time at 10 because Bill Maher will be feting America's #1 weasel Chris Christie and also Fareed "Truly This Was The Day Donald Trump Became President" Zakaria. (The third guest is NYC Mayor-elect Eric Adams.) At 11 on The Graham Norton Show (BBC America), the lineup includes Lady Gaga, Rod Stewart, and Will Smith.
I’ll stick with the 1984 original, thanks.
The new movies and home videos are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (This week's big release is the long-delayed soft reboot #2 of the Ghostbusters franchise. Did we need another one?) The NFL schedule is here, the NBA schedule is here, and the NHL schedule is here. Simu Liu (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) hosts SNL.
A potential return of supersonic air travel is the lead story Sunday on 60 Minutes, after which they’ll visit the gardens of Roman Emperor Caligula and look into “a new way of policing” in Austin, Texas. Smithers "finds true love with a famous fashion designer" on The Simpsons, and on Family Guy Stewie is put in detention. Finally, awards season starts ramping up with the American Music Awards Sunday at 8 on ABC. As usual, all my money's on a clean sweep by The Singing Dogs.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 19, 2011
JEERS to the Fwooosh! heard 'round the world. Some jackass with a badge and a beer belly strode up to a line of peaceful student protesters at UC Davis (north of San Francisco) and uncorked a canister of compressed Grade-A hot sauce at point-blank range, providing one more iconic Occupy moment in a movement full of them.
The image of pepper-sprayer John Pike became instant meme fodder. He was later awarded $38,000 in worker’s compensation for "suffering he experienced after the incident." Because of course.
But if Friday's police overreaction will forever be remembered by orange plumes of "airborne compliance enhancement" and the victims' screams, Saturday's student reaction to UC Chancellor Linda Katehi's exit from a wishy-washy press conference will forever be remembered by her silent, lonely walk of shame. Katehi says she's forming a task force to identify who's responsible for letting things spiral out of control. The task force said they didn’t need that much time. Then they handed her a mirror.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to words that Republicans have apparently forgotten all about. On November 19, 1863, President Lincoln—who would’ve quit the party long ago if he was around to see what it had become—delivered The Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the Pennsylvania battlefield. I read these words every year and their simple elegance makes me appreciate them more each time. What a distillation of the American experiment, and what a road map for how we recently slogged our way through the worst leadership vacuum ever:
If you want the condensed version, here's the corporate-approved PowerPoint Presentation of the speech. (The “next” button is in the lower right-hand corner). A century and a half later we still haven't perished. But Lincoln would no doubt be alarmed at the rabid wave of Republican dotardism that followed our previous president when he brought his thuggish brand of disgrace to Gettysburg during his 2016 campaign, and to the entire nation in 2017. Thankfully, the twice-impeached Jefferson Davis clone got booted from office, and the dead shall, for now at least, not have died in vain. Watch this space.
Full moon tonight. Get yer butt in the back yard, look up, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (Buzz Aldrin still walks among us), and give it a wink. Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Continued...
You are now below the fold. All that separates you from Hell is a plywood floor and a throw rug.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 19, 2021
Note: A reminder that today is Have A Bad Day Day. If you violated the spirit of the occasion by having a good day, that would be very bad, which would actually make your good day a bad day. Good for you! (In a bad way. Which is good! But that’s bad. Good! Good bad!)
-
By the Numbers:
Starts in 15 days!!!
Days 'til winter: 32
Days 'til the start of the Great Dickens Christmas Fair in San Francisco: 15
Portion of Americans polled by ABC News/The Washington Post who want the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade: 1-in-4
House vote to censure Rep. Paul Gosar (Cult-AZ) and strip him of his committee assignments: 223 Yes – 207 No
Estimated decline in child poverty in July, thanks to new Democratic policies: 40%
Percent chance that America's Catholic bishops totally caved this week on preventing President Biden from receiving communion: 100%
Rank of stuffing, gravy, and mashed taters among most popular Thanksgiving sides: #1, #2, #3
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Baby Yoda's dog???
-
CHEERS to good news. As we head into our 44th consecutive weekend of normalcy under the Biden administration, it seems like a good time for a little reminder that, despite the pessimism of the pity party-prone American people, who wouldn’t know progress if it hit 'em in the face like a flying flounder in a hurricane, the economy—supposedly their #1 issue—is absolutely crushing it these days:
Americans largely shrugged off higher prices last month and stepped up their spending at retail stores and online, providing a boost to the economy. Retail sales rose a seasonally adjusted 1.7% in October from September, the U.S. Commerce Department said Tuesday. That's up from 0.8% in the previous month. […]
Solid hiring, strong pay raises and healthy savings for many households are underpinning robust spending. Employers added 531,000 jobs last month, the Labor Department said earlier this month. Americans are also still buying more cars, furniture and other goods than they did before the pandemic.
Also: this.
Businesses and other employers are boosting pay to fill a near-record number of open jobs. Wages and salaries jumped in the July-to-September quarter, compared with the year-ago period, by the most in 20 years. That's giving more Americans extra money to spend. […]
"[T]his is yet another reminder the U.S. consumer remains extremely healthy. Don't forget the consumer makes up two-thirds of the economy, so this is another great sign for our economy as we head into the holiday spending season," Ryan Detrick, chief market strategist for LPL Financial, told investors in a note.
But President Biden hasn’t made JFK Jr. magically appear on the White House lawn yet or opened a network of bleach-injection clinics, so he's a total failure. Oh well. Maybe next week. Maybe.
CHEERS to the scrapper from Scranton. Speaking of the Big Guy, Happy Birthday (and many blessings on your camels) tomorrow to America's 46th President, whose way with words—intentional and otherwise—is a thing to behold:
"There's only three things [Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11." -
“The only thing I know is I ain't changing my brand. I know what I believe. I'm confident in what I know. And I'm gonna say it. And if folks like it, wonderful. If they don't like it, I understand.”
"Turkey is infrastructure. Peanut Butter and Jelly are going to help build back Butterball." —At today’s turkey pardon ceremony
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"You ever been to a caucus? No you haven't. You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier." - “Don't tell me what you value—show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value.” -
“My dad used to have an expression - 'It is the lucky person who gets up in the morning, puts both feet on the floor, knows what they are about to do, and thinks it still matters.'”
And the best thing anyone ever said to Donald Trump's face, and boy do I envy Joe for being the one to do it:
A year ago he shut him up real good, with a little help from 80 million of his friends. Joe turns 79 tomorrow—and that's no malarkey. But it is a BFD.
CHEERS to happy endings. A pair of victories for unions this week. First, enough of the demands by the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees' (IATSE) were met to avert the largest private-sector strike since 2007. And two days ago the month-long strike by UAW workers at John Deere ended with a new contract:
UAW President Ray Curry called it a “landmark agreement” reached after more than four weeks on strike. “UAW John Deere members did not just unite themselves, they seemed to unite the nation in a struggle for fairness in the workplace,” Curry said in a statement. We could not be more proud of these UAW members and their families.” […]
“Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go… Tra-la-la… Tra-la-la...”
The work stoppage was perhaps the most visible example yet of how workers are flexing their muscles amid a surprisingly tight labor market in this stage of the coronavirus pandemic. Workers felt confident going on strike knowing Deere would have a difficult time replacing them and maintaining production.
Among the well-deserved spoils for the workers: an immediate 10-percent raise, two future 5 percent raises, cost-of-living adjustments, an $8,500 ratification bonus, and they all get to pick one combine harvester from the scratch 'n dent lot.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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Only surviving photo of the Mayflower arriving at the new land.
CHEERS to reaching dry land. On Sunday’s date in 1620, after being denied boarding passes at Heathrow because they were on the no-fly list, a bunch of renegade "pilgrims" from England with a bad case of B.O. and no sense of humor landed in New England after 66 days at sea and promptly got all quill-crazy, signing the Mayflower Compact…
“...to enact, constitute, and frame just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience."
By the way, the ship was destined for the northern edge of the Virginia Colony, but they ended up dropping anchor in a totally different place: Provincetown, Massachusetts. After spending several years reviewing all the available evidence, I've come to an inescapable conclusion: GPS sucked back then.
CHEERS to home vegetation. I dunno…I can't decide if I should spend the weekend soaking in a nice borax bath to suck the government nanotechnology out of my pores, or watch some TV. If the latter, there are few odds and ends worth watching, starting with the MSNBC lineup tonight, but probably not HBO's Real Time at 10 because Bill Maher will be feting America's #1 weasel Chris Christie and also Fareed "Truly This Was The Day Donald Trump Became President" Zakaria. (The third guest is NYC Mayor-elect Eric Adams.) At 11 on The Graham Norton Show (BBC America), the lineup includes Lady Gaga, Rod Stewart, and Will Smith.
I’ll stick with the 1984 original, thanks.
The new movies and home videos are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (This week's big release is the long-delayed soft reboot #2 of the Ghostbusters franchise. Did we need another one?) The NFL schedule is here, the NBA schedule is here, and the NHL schedule is here. Simu Liu (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) hosts SNL.
A potential return of supersonic air travel is the lead story Sunday on 60 Minutes, after which they’ll visit the gardens of Roman Emperor Caligula and look into “a new way of policing” in Austin, Texas. Smithers "finds true love with a famous fashion designer" on The Simpsons, and on Family Guy Stewie is put in detention. Finally, awards season starts ramping up with the American Music Awards Sunday at 8 on ABC. As usual, all my money's on a clean sweep by The Singing Dogs.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Sens. Jon Tester (D-MT) and Kevin Cramer (Cult-ND); Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.
A better Sunday morning choice.
This Week: Doc Fauci, and then just a bunch of talking heads.
Face the Nation: Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY); NAACP president Derrick Johnson; Gov. Asa Hutchison (Cult-AR); new polling results with Anthony Salvanto; former FDA guy Scott Gottlieb.
CNN's State of the Union: Doc Fauci; Beto O’Rourke; Gov. Chris Sununu (R-NH).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Trump cultist and Virginia Lt. Gov.-elect Winsome Sears.
Happy viewing!
-
Ten years ago in C&J: November 19, 2011
JEERS to the Fwooosh! heard 'round the world. Some jackass with a badge and a beer belly strode up to a line of peaceful student protesters at UC Davis (north of San Francisco) and uncorked a canister of compressed Grade-A hot sauce at point-blank range, providing one more iconic Occupy moment in a movement full of them.
The image of pepper-sprayer John Pike became instant meme fodder. He was later awarded $38,000 in worker’s compensation for "suffering he experienced after the incident." Because of course.
But if Friday's police overreaction will forever be remembered by orange plumes of "airborne compliance enhancement" and the victims' screams, Saturday's student reaction to UC Chancellor Linda Katehi's exit from a wishy-washy press conference will forever be remembered by her silent, lonely walk of shame. Katehi says she's forming a task force to identify who's responsible for letting things spiral out of control. The task force said they didn’t need that much time. Then they handed her a mirror.
-
And just one more...
CHEERS to words that Republicans have apparently forgotten all about. On November 19, 1863, President Lincoln—who would’ve quit the party long ago if he was around to see what it had become—delivered The Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the Pennsylvania battlefield. I read these words every year and their simple elegance makes me appreciate them more each time. What a distillation of the American experiment, and what a road map for how we recently slogged our way through the worst leadership vacuum ever:
“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
True Fact: Lincoln’s speech was punctuated several times by shouts of “You da man!!!”
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.
It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
If you want the condensed version, here's the corporate-approved PowerPoint Presentation of the speech. (The “next” button is in the lower right-hand corner). A century and a half later we still haven't perished. But Lincoln would no doubt be alarmed at the rabid wave of Republican dotardism that followed our previous president when he brought his thuggish brand of disgrace to Gettysburg during his 2016 campaign, and to the entire nation in 2017. Thankfully, the twice-impeached Jefferson Davis clone got booted from office, and the dead shall, for now at least, not have died in vain. Watch this space.
Full moon tonight. Get yer butt in the back yard, look up, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (Buzz Aldrin still walks among us), and give it a wink. Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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