Late Night Snark: Splendid Little Quagmire Edition
Continued...
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, August 20, 2021
Note: A reminder that today is World Mosquito Day. I got mine a tiny pair of Garfield-eating-lasagna socks. So cute.
-
By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til National Banana Split Day: 5
Days 'til the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo: 7
Current matchup numbers in the New Jersey gubernatorial race between Democrat Phil Murphy and the Cult Party's Jack Ciattarelli, according to Monmouth University: 52%, 36%
Cost of replacing the Maricopa County, Arizona election equipment—which the Board of Elections is filing a claim to the state Senate for—that was compromised by the Cyber Ninjas during their sham "audit": $2.6 million
Age of Robert Plant as of today: 73
Year in which the U.S. Mint struck its first official coin: 1793
Year during which foreign coins ceased to be recognized as legal tender in the U.S.: 1857
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
-
CHEERS to the one and only. Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA) is the only person we should be listening to as the Afghanistan War winds down in the sudden and awful way we looney lefties knew it would. Hers was the only vote in the House back in 2001 against authorizing George W. Bush to start our 20-year quagmire that much of the media and other assorted armchair generals would like to see drag on for 30, 40, 50 or more. While failed neocon figures like John Bolton and Karl Rove have gotten much of the press, Vanity Fair reached out to Congresswoman Lee for her thoughts on our predictably-chaotic withdrawal:
Said all the dirty effing hippies who also had the common sense and brain-smarts to know exactly how invading Afghanistan would turn out: "What she said."
CHEERS to statesmen who make us proud to be part of Club Democrat. True fact: state law requires every Mainer to either say "Happy birthday" to former Maine senator George Mitchell, who turns 88 today, or be banished to a life of misery in New Hampshire.
88 candles on Mitchell’s cake today.
So: Happy Birthday Mr. Former Senate Majority Leader! (And a damn good one, especially compared to the string of Republicans who have sullied the office.) After spending 14 years in the Senate, he brokered peace in Northern Ireland, headed up an investigation of steroid use in baseball, tried his best to thread the Middle East peace needle, and helped resolve issues relating to working conditions in Bangladesh's garment industry. Last week Mitchell was asked if he could broker peace between those who prefer the toilet paper to hang over the roll and those who prefer that it hang under the roll. The response: "Dammit, man, I'm a negotiator not a miracle worker."
P.S. Speaking of Maine senators, our current sitting junior senator, Angus King, tested positive for Covid-19: "While I am not feeling great, I’m definitely feeling much better than I would have without the vaccine. I urge everyone to remain vigilant, follow the guidance from health professionals, and get vaccinated if you haven’t been." He did not, however, tell people to punch anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers in the face. I called dibs on that first.
CHEERS to #23. Happy birthday to Benjamin Harrison, born on August 20, 1833 in North Bend, Ohio. As president from 1889 to 1893, he was the filling in the Grover Cleveland sandwich. And what a party animal! From Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien:
Like Mike Pence. Minus the charm.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Quick roundup of TV fare for the weekend, starting tonight with Chris Hayes’ and Rachel Maddow's (in-)digestion of the Friday news dumps that landed in our collective lap today.
The Little League World Series will be televised this weekend. The main thing to remember: “When you’re slidin’ into third and you feel a juicy turd... Diarrhea! Diarrhea!”
The most popular home videos, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The baseball schedule is here and the WNBA schedule is here. The Little League World Series is now underway, and the latest games air tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on ABC. Tomorrow night all the networks and HBO will air Stand Up to Cancer, an all-star fundraiser to raise money for research into…well, guess. On 60 Minutes: reports on racism in the military and the world's newest volcano (besides Mike Lindell after hearing his conspiracy theories have been debunked). And Sunday night at 11, John Oliver wraps up another mind-bending, evil-exposing season of HBO's Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup, such that it is:
Happy viewing!
-
Ten years ago in C&J: August 20, 2011
JEERS to the Worst Historian in the World. Michele Bachmann made another Supergaffe Tuesday, this time treading on the most sacred ground in all of pop-culturedom. During a campaign stop in South Carolina, she urged the crowd to join her in wishing Elvis Presley a happy birthday. One small problem: Tuesday wasn't the anniversary of the day The King checked in, it was the 34th anniversary of the day he checked out. Someone in the crowd yelled out the truth but she ignored it. I'll say one thing: at least she's consistent.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to the birthday pootie. Ending on a personal note tonight. Twelve years ago this Sunday, Michael and I visited our local shelter to adopt a feline fuzzball, and we chose the one that was kind enough to recognize that our ankles weren't hambones to be gnawed on. We named her "Fantom" because she has a black "mask" across her face and loves to skulk around in the basement. Fantom is a petite thing as cats go, a tiny tortie weighing in at around six pounds with stubby li’l legs.
Oh, right. And she can also touch her nose with her tongue.
Over the past few years, since my twin (and victorious) bouts with cancer, she's become downright nurse-like, and there isn’t a night that goes by now where she doesn’t come to bed with me and lay across my legs for ten minutes or so before padding off to guard the house from her living room chair. It's been, as they say, a rewarding bonding experience.
Otherwise, her days are filled with typical cativities: eat, sleep, drink out of the faucet, have stare-downs with squirrels on the porch roof (they know she won’t catch them, let alone do any damage if she does, so they've basically adopted her as their beloved Aunt Scowlypuss), teach our dog Haley who's boss, de-wing houseflies, purr when skritched, phone-bank on behalf of down-ballot Democrats, and turn down any food not topped with beluga caviar. So Sunday the world will once again prostrate itself at the altar of Fancy Feast to wish Fantom another Happy Barfday. With the possible exception of the patients down at the Housefly Wing Reattachment Clinic and Convalescence Center.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Continued...
You are now below the fold. Try the dip.
And now, our feature presentation...
-
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, August 20, 2021
Note: A reminder that today is World Mosquito Day. I got mine a tiny pair of Garfield-eating-lasagna socks. So cute.
-
By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til National Banana Split Day: 5
Days 'til the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo: 7
Current matchup numbers in the New Jersey gubernatorial race between Democrat Phil Murphy and the Cult Party's Jack Ciattarelli, according to Monmouth University: 52%, 36%
Cost of replacing the Maricopa County, Arizona election equipment—which the Board of Elections is filing a claim to the state Senate for—that was compromised by the Cyber Ninjas during their sham "audit": $2.6 million
Age of Robert Plant as of today: 73
Year in which the U.S. Mint struck its first official coin: 1793
Year during which foreign coins ceased to be recognized as legal tender in the U.S.: 1857
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
-
CHEERS to the one and only. Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA) is the only person we should be listening to as the Afghanistan War winds down in the sudden and awful way we looney lefties knew it would. Hers was the only vote in the House back in 2001 against authorizing George W. Bush to start our 20-year quagmire that much of the media and other assorted armchair generals would like to see drag on for 30, 40, 50 or more. While failed neocon figures like John Bolton and Karl Rove have gotten much of the press, Vanity Fair reached out to Congresswoman Lee for her thoughts on our predictably-chaotic withdrawal:
What are your current emotions as you watch the situation in Afghanistan unfold after your two-decade-long fight?
In many ways I’m feeling the same way I felt on September 14, 2001, the day I voted against the authorization: the sadness, the grief, the anger. But I am very focused on what I can do to make sure that American citizens, our diplomats, NGOs, our Afghan allies, women and children are protected and brought to safe harbor. […]
She was right. And we knew she was right.
People need to pay attention to several things. One is that the United States cannot nation-build around the world. … We did help women, and we have to figure out a strategy where we continue to make sure women not only are protected, but that they can move forward in their empowerment movement for education and for women’s rights. That’s an important piece that I’m going to work on with our subcommittee in terms of funding. But we cannot go around the world and nation-build. […]
We have to look at how to reenter the world in terms of our global leadership as it relates to peace and security. A lot of people don’t believe we should invest anything in foreign aid, but I think this moment should highlight the fact that we don’t spend that much on diplomacy and development. All of the resources are in the defense budget. We need to reimagine, rebalance, and reshape our spending priorities. … We’ve got to engage in the world in a way that shows our leadership, our values, and our respect for human rights.
Said all the dirty effing hippies who also had the common sense and brain-smarts to know exactly how invading Afghanistan would turn out: "What she said."
CHEERS to statesmen who make us proud to be part of Club Democrat. True fact: state law requires every Mainer to either say "Happy birthday" to former Maine senator George Mitchell, who turns 88 today, or be banished to a life of misery in New Hampshire.
88 candles on Mitchell’s cake today.
So: Happy Birthday Mr. Former Senate Majority Leader! (And a damn good one, especially compared to the string of Republicans who have sullied the office.) After spending 14 years in the Senate, he brokered peace in Northern Ireland, headed up an investigation of steroid use in baseball, tried his best to thread the Middle East peace needle, and helped resolve issues relating to working conditions in Bangladesh's garment industry. Last week Mitchell was asked if he could broker peace between those who prefer the toilet paper to hang over the roll and those who prefer that it hang under the roll. The response: "Dammit, man, I'm a negotiator not a miracle worker."
P.S. Speaking of Maine senators, our current sitting junior senator, Angus King, tested positive for Covid-19: "While I am not feeling great, I’m definitely feeling much better than I would have without the vaccine. I urge everyone to remain vigilant, follow the guidance from health professionals, and get vaccinated if you haven’t been." He did not, however, tell people to punch anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers in the face. I called dibs on that first.
-
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
-
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
CHEERS to #23. Happy birthday to Benjamin Harrison, born on August 20, 1833 in North Bend, Ohio. As president from 1889 to 1893, he was the filling in the Grover Cleveland sandwich. And what a party animal! From Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents by Cormac O'Brien:
n person the staunchly Presbyterian president was a virtual corpse.
Chilly, frigid, frosty—words like these were routinely used to describe the unpleasant experience of meeting privately with the man. [...]
”I’m not wearing pants.”
Senator Thomas Platt was the one who coined the moniker "White House Iceberg." As Platt explained, "Inside the Executive Mansion, in his reception of those who solicited official appointments, [Harrison] was as glacial as a Siberian stripped of his furs. During and after an interview, if one could secure it, one felt even in torrid weather like pulling on his winter flannels, galoshes, overcoat, mittens and earflaps."
Even Harrison's handshake was a flop, likened to "a wilted petunia."
Like Mike Pence. Minus the charm.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Quick roundup of TV fare for the weekend, starting tonight with Chris Hayes’ and Rachel Maddow's (in-)digestion of the Friday news dumps that landed in our collective lap today.
The Little League World Series will be televised this weekend. The main thing to remember: “When you’re slidin’ into third and you feel a juicy turd... Diarrhea! Diarrhea!”
The most popular home videos, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The baseball schedule is here and the WNBA schedule is here. The Little League World Series is now underway, and the latest games air tomorrow and Sunday afternoon on ABC. Tomorrow night all the networks and HBO will air Stand Up to Cancer, an all-star fundraiser to raise money for research into…well, guess. On 60 Minutes: reports on racism in the military and the world's newest volcano (besides Mike Lindell after hearing his conspiracy theories have been debunked). And Sunday night at 11, John Oliver wraps up another mind-bending, evil-exposing season of HBO's Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup, such that it is:
Meet the Press: National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan; Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona; daughter of the co-architect of the disastrous Afghanistan War Liz Cheney.
We advise you not to watch ‘Face the Nation’ this week, as this sea lamprey is a guest and it never shuts up.
This Week: Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin; Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy; Craig Whitlock, author of The Afghanistan Papers: A Secret History of the War.
Face the Nation: TBA
CNN's State of the Union: Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy; Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Sen. Ben Sasse (CULT-NE); Dr. Vivek Murthy.
Happy viewing!
-
Ten years ago in C&J: August 20, 2011
JEERS to the Worst Historian in the World. Michele Bachmann made another Supergaffe Tuesday, this time treading on the most sacred ground in all of pop-culturedom. During a campaign stop in South Carolina, she urged the crowd to join her in wishing Elvis Presley a happy birthday. One small problem: Tuesday wasn't the anniversary of the day The King checked in, it was the 34th anniversary of the day he checked out. Someone in the crowd yelled out the truth but she ignored it. I'll say one thing: at least she's consistent.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to the birthday pootie. Ending on a personal note tonight. Twelve years ago this Sunday, Michael and I visited our local shelter to adopt a feline fuzzball, and we chose the one that was kind enough to recognize that our ankles weren't hambones to be gnawed on. We named her "Fantom" because she has a black "mask" across her face and loves to skulk around in the basement. Fantom is a petite thing as cats go, a tiny tortie weighing in at around six pounds with stubby li’l legs.
Oh, right. And she can also touch her nose with her tongue.
Over the past few years, since my twin (and victorious) bouts with cancer, she's become downright nurse-like, and there isn’t a night that goes by now where she doesn’t come to bed with me and lay across my legs for ten minutes or so before padding off to guard the house from her living room chair. It's been, as they say, a rewarding bonding experience.
Otherwise, her days are filled with typical cativities: eat, sleep, drink out of the faucet, have stare-downs with squirrels on the porch roof (they know she won’t catch them, let alone do any damage if she does, so they've basically adopted her as their beloved Aunt Scowlypuss), teach our dog Haley who's boss, de-wing houseflies, purr when skritched, phone-bank on behalf of down-ballot Democrats, and turn down any food not topped with beluga caviar. So Sunday the world will once again prostrate itself at the altar of Fancy Feast to wish Fantom another Happy Barfday. With the possible exception of the patients down at the Housefly Wing Reattachment Clinic and Convalescence Center.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-