Thursday Munchies
Colbert marks Germany’s legalization of pot in the best way...
YouTube Video
Reese’s Cups. Or as they’re known over there: the lazy German’s strudel.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, February 29, 2024
Note: Mitch McConnell is leaving his leadership post in November. If you need him after that, he’ll be making the rounds short-sheeting the beds at D.C.-area nursing homes. Thank you. —The Senate
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By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til NCAA Selection Sunday: 17
Days 'til the World Championship Cheese Contest in Madison, Wisconsin: 5
Year the first Cheese Championship was held: 1957
Inflation rate for the year ending last month: 3.1%
Current expected economic growth in 2024, up from the original prediction of 1.3 percent: 2.2%
Amount Family Dollar Stores was fined for storing food in a rat-infested warehouse, the largest criminal penalty in a food safety case: $41.6 million
Years since John Waters last made a movie, a tragic situation being remedied by a new one being filmed this summer in Baltimore: 20
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
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Puppy Pic of the Day: "Yo, 'sup..."
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CHEERS to long-term thinking. Well, hallelujah. After noticing that when they put their political noses to the grindstone they produce excellent results (see: Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania), Democrats are now ready to expand the battlefield even further and start flipping state legislatures—at least half of them—over the next half-dozen years:
…and dry-humping Russia, and effectively banning IVF, and stomping on LGBTQ rights, and banning books, and snuffing out democracy itself, and just turning into a mean, nasty, vicious cult. Step 1: figure out how to get all that on a bumper sticker.
CHEERS to law 'n order. Today that wily rascal Dark Brandon will strap on his chaps and spurs, adjust his shiny sheriff's badge and dusty cowboy hat (this is all true, by the way), mount his trusty steed Cornpop, and lead a posse down to the border while shouting "Let's do some good!" The rest…will be the stuff of legend:
After he meets with officials and makes a few remarks, he'll rescue several damsels-in-distress tied to the railroad tracks, and the grateful townspeople will honor him by letting him call the reels at the barn dance before he rides off into the sunset. The End. Pard’ner.
JEERS to jumping on the birther bandwagon. A reminder of how even "respectable" media outlets played the "he's not like the rest of us" card with our 44th president back when he was still slogging away on the campaign trail. This was an actual CNN online poll question that was posted sixteen years ago this week as the 2008 Democratic primary season kicked into high gear:
I think it's time for a new question, now that it’s been seven years since he completed his successful and popular two-term presidency: "Does Barack Obama show the proper patriotism for someone who is a former president of the United States?” Get on it, CNN. Because if he's not, I say we should haul him back and plop his hiney someplace we can keep a close eye on him. (I recommend the Supreme Court this summer after Sam Alito chokes on a… Oops, almost spoiled it.)
CHEERS to amazing leap year feats. On this date in 1964, Australian swimmer Dawn Fraser set a new world record in the 100m freestyle swimming competition. Her time: 58.9 seconds. The piranhas chasing her: 59.0.
JEERS to the "party of law and order." Don’t be like the lawless Democrats, they say. Be fine, upstanding, law-abiding Americans like we Republicans are, they say. The party of personal responsibility! The party of accountability! The party of strict morals and ethics! The party of law and order! And since this is Cheers and Jeers, you know what's coming next…
He faces a total of at least 20 charges in all. Or as Donald Trump calls it: "A good start."
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 29, 2014
CHEERS to nighttime Joe. Seth Meyers started hosting his new Late Night gig this week, and Vice President Biden showed up to…well, to be Vice President Biden. Among other things (like Amy Pohler briefly sitting on his lap—imagine how many fingers she'da lost trying that with Cheney), we finally learned why Joe was pointing his finger so enthusiastically at a specific senator during his boss's State of the Union address:
YouTube Video
Just like reality, humor has a liberal bias.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to seeing to a bit of unfinished business. I’ll be damned if I’m going to shirk my sworn duty to say “Happy Birthday, and many blessings on your camels” to all the “Leaplings” born on February 29th, which my Congresswoman Virginia Foxx 2024 swimsuit calendar says is today.
Yay, we can use the Google leap year doodle today!
You’d think that if God was all great and powerful over everything, She would have made leap years unnecessary. But nooooooooooo. She done gave our planet the wibbledy-wobblies, and now there’s an unfortunate group of people on this earth who only get a birthday every four years (2028 brings with it the next February 29th). The list includes Pope Paul III, Jimmy Dorsey, Dinah Shore, grifter Anthony Robbins, Ja Rule, and renowned composer Gioachino Rossini (the Lone Ranger theme guy). But never fear, Leapers, as long as C&J is here we’ll always stuff our faces with cake and ice cream in your honor every leap year. And just to show our commitment, every other year, too.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Colbert marks Germany’s legalization of pot in the best way...
YouTube Video
-
Reese’s Cups. Or as they’re known over there: the lazy German’s strudel.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, February 29, 2024
Note: Mitch McConnell is leaving his leadership post in November. If you need him after that, he’ll be making the rounds short-sheeting the beds at D.C.-area nursing homes. Thank you. —The Senate
-
By the Numbers:
5 days!!!
Days 'til NCAA Selection Sunday: 17
Days 'til the World Championship Cheese Contest in Madison, Wisconsin: 5
Year the first Cheese Championship was held: 1957
Inflation rate for the year ending last month: 3.1%
Current expected economic growth in 2024, up from the original prediction of 1.3 percent: 2.2%
Amount Family Dollar Stores was fined for storing food in a rat-infested warehouse, the largest criminal penalty in a food safety case: $41.6 million
Years since John Waters last made a movie, a tragic situation being remedied by a new one being filmed this summer in Baltimore: 20
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I'm sorry to say this, but anyone who reads the newspapers regularly and notices the number of religious figures accused of child molestation and other abuses will not be surprised to learn that religious social service programs are like other social programs: Some are good, and some are not.
Pretending that they are all somehow superior to state social services doesn't help anything. … As that great orator, the late Texas state Rep. Billy Williamson of Tyler, once declared during a debate over state aid to Baptist-sponsored Baylor, "Yew CAAAAAAAN'T trade the cross for the cookie jar!"
And this is the policy record that has been pronounced a triumph by the Washington press corps.
—February, 2001
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Puppy Pic of the Day: "Yo, 'sup..."
-
CHEERS to long-term thinking. Well, hallelujah. After noticing that when they put their political noses to the grindstone they produce excellent results (see: Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania), Democrats are now ready to expand the battlefield even further and start flipping state legislatures—at least half of them—over the next half-dozen years:
The Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, the party arm in charge of winning state-level elections, plans to dedicate roughly a third of its 2024 spending to building up power in chambers it does not expect to capture this year but could flip in future cycles. […]
Good idea!
The DLCC’s new plan spells out the Democratic Party’s hopes to build on its far-reaching agenda for 2024. In this November’s elections, Democrats are seeking to flip multiple chambers in crucial swing states like Arizona and New Hampshire. They are also defending several new majorities and hoping to crack veto-proof majorities that Republican legislators wield in states with Democratic governors. […]
Republican dominance of state politics has started to fracture as voters turn on some of their signature policies, like restrictions on abortion and voting rights.
…and dry-humping Russia, and effectively banning IVF, and stomping on LGBTQ rights, and banning books, and snuffing out democracy itself, and just turning into a mean, nasty, vicious cult. Step 1: figure out how to get all that on a bumper sticker.
CHEERS to law 'n order. Today that wily rascal Dark Brandon will strap on his chaps and spurs, adjust his shiny sheriff's badge and dusty cowboy hat (this is all true, by the way), mount his trusty steed Cornpop, and lead a posse down to the border while shouting "Let's do some good!" The rest…will be the stuff of legend:
Biden’s predecessor will also be at the border to check up on his perfect wall.
President Joe Biden had been considering a trip to the southern border for weeks as a way to amplify his efforts to remind Americans that Republicans derailed a bipartisan border deal he was prepared to sign into law, according to two senior administration officials.
And now, the officials said, the trip Thursday is an opportunity to draw a more direct contrast between the immigration agendas of Biden and his likely 2024 opponent, former President Donald Trump, who will visit the border on the same day. […]
Biden has been in near-daily meetings on the border over the past few weeks and has directed his team to produce solutions that don’t involve Congress, according to administration officials.
After he meets with officials and makes a few remarks, he'll rescue several damsels-in-distress tied to the railroad tracks, and the grateful townspeople will honor him by letting him call the reels at the barn dance before he rides off into the sunset. The End. Pard’ner.
JEERS to jumping on the birther bandwagon. A reminder of how even "respectable" media outlets played the "he's not like the rest of us" card with our 44th president back when he was still slogging away on the campaign trail. This was an actual CNN online poll question that was posted sixteen years ago this week as the 2008 Democratic primary season kicked into high gear:
I think it's time for a new question, now that it’s been seven years since he completed his successful and popular two-term presidency: "Does Barack Obama show the proper patriotism for someone who is a former president of the United States?” Get on it, CNN. Because if he's not, I say we should haul him back and plop his hiney someplace we can keep a close eye on him. (I recommend the Supreme Court this summer after Sam Alito chokes on a… Oops, almost spoiled it.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to amazing leap year feats. On this date in 1964, Australian swimmer Dawn Fraser set a new world record in the 100m freestyle swimming competition. Her time: 58.9 seconds. The piranhas chasing her: 59.0.
JEERS to the "party of law and order." Don’t be like the lawless Democrats, they say. Be fine, upstanding, law-abiding Americans like we Republicans are, they say. The party of personal responsibility! The party of accountability! The party of strict morals and ethics! The party of law and order! And since this is Cheers and Jeers, you know what's coming next…
The 18-year-old son of Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., was arrested Tuesday after a “recent string of vehicle trespass and property thefts” in Rifle, Colorado, according to police.
This is where you go when you get busted by the long arm of the law for rifling through Rifle.
Tyler Jay Boebert faces felony counts of criminal possession of identification documents, conspiracy to commit a felony, and more than 15 additional misdemeanor and petty offenses, the Rifle Police Department said in a Facebook post.
He faces a total of at least 20 charges in all. Or as Donald Trump calls it: "A good start."
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 29, 2014
CHEERS to nighttime Joe. Seth Meyers started hosting his new Late Night gig this week, and Vice President Biden showed up to…well, to be Vice President Biden. Among other things (like Amy Pohler briefly sitting on his lap—imagine how many fingers she'da lost trying that with Cheney), we finally learned why Joe was pointing his finger so enthusiastically at a specific senator during his boss's State of the Union address:
YouTube Video
-
Just like reality, humor has a liberal bias.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to seeing to a bit of unfinished business. I’ll be damned if I’m going to shirk my sworn duty to say “Happy Birthday, and many blessings on your camels” to all the “Leaplings” born on February 29th, which my Congresswoman Virginia Foxx 2024 swimsuit calendar says is today.
Yay, we can use the Google leap year doodle today!
You’d think that if God was all great and powerful over everything, She would have made leap years unnecessary. But nooooooooooo. She done gave our planet the wibbledy-wobblies, and now there’s an unfortunate group of people on this earth who only get a birthday every four years (2028 brings with it the next February 29th). The list includes Pope Paul III, Jimmy Dorsey, Dinah Shore, grifter Anthony Robbins, Ja Rule, and renowned composer Gioachino Rossini (the Lone Ranger theme guy). But never fear, Leapers, as long as C&J is here we’ll always stuff our faces with cake and ice cream in your honor every leap year. And just to show our commitment, every other year, too.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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