Did You Know?
Continued...
Any questions?
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 23, 2021
Note: Here’s what you can expect C&J-wise for the rest of the week: regular C&J tomorrow, special Thanksgiving edition Thursday morning, no C&J Friday, though we’ll probably post a "Who Won the Week" poll in the diaries around 7pm, and we’ll be back in the saddle Monday. We wish you a reasonably sane and safe holiday. And remember: if you really want to own the conservatives at your Thanksgiving dinner table, give all the food a liberal sprinkling of bamboo fibers. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
10 days!!!
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 2
Days 'til the Sun ‘n Fun Holiday Fly-In Festival & Car Show in Lakeland, Florida: 10
Expected e-commerce holiday sales this year, a 10% increase that would be a record: $207 billion
Number of Medicare patients who could get coverage for hearing aids under the Build Back Better Act passed by the House last week: 25 million
Monthly cap for insulin under the bill: $35
Age of Lawrence Brooks, the oldest-surviving World War II veteran: 112
Number of turkeys who will slay their captors this week and escape on motorcycles: 8
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Puppy Pic of the Day: All hail the king…
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CHEERS to a cherished holiday tradition: taking your life in your hands. Thanksgiving is looming like a 20-pound platter of mashed potatoes, and AAA predicts that with Joe Biden at the helm instead of The Thing, everyone’s in a better mood this year, vaccinations and boosters are going into arms at a phenomenal rate, and that means there’ll be a lot more travelers screaming, cursing and smelling kinda gamey between now and next Tuesday:
If you'll be among the road-trippers, please be safe, wear a mask, and practice common-sense driving etiquette: your right hand is for texting and your left hand is for flipping the bird.
CHEERS or JEERS (the jury’s literally still out) to the wheels of justice. Coming off of last week's disappointing Kyle Rittenhouse verdict in Weirdconsin (but he really, really likes Black people—he likes them so much that he's willing to stick his nose in another town's business in search of allies of Black people to shoot with an army gun, don'tcha see???), closing arguments were held yesterday in Brunswick, Georgia in the trial of three MAGA Bubbas who chased, shot, and killed unarmed Ahmaud Arbery nearly two years ago. The prosecution's argument was airtight, with evidence clearly showing it was cold-blooded murder. Then it was the defense team's turn to hook their thumbs under their suspenders and give it their best shot:
Well. At least they didn’t try the Twinkie defense.
JEERS to...hic!...#29. On November 23, 1921, President Warren Harding lost my vote by signing the Willis-Campbell Act, which clamped down on doctors who prescribed beer or liquor for medicinal purposes. That's why today C&J does all of its own self-diagnosing. It’s been touch-and-go for awhile. We went through several prescription pads while suffering from a chronic case of Infrastructure Week Deficiency, and now we’re suffering from an acute case of Dear God Make The Anti-Vaxxers Shut Their Pie Holes Syndrome. Thank god when I asked my inner Dr. Billy, he told me that, yes, Bacardi 151 was right for me. And then I tossed myself a lime to prevent scurvy. Can’t wait ‘til I get to try my hand at self-open-heart surgery—forty more payments and that chainsaw on Amazon Prime is all mine.
CHEERS to gettin' sprung. Let history reflect that on Monday, November 22, 2021, Donald Trump's former lawyer and "fixer" Michael Cohen, who was betrayed by his boss and then turned on him, officially ended his prison sentence, but not his crusade to get revenge on The Thing:
His first act as a free man: booking anti-vax disinformation peddler, cavorter with Nazis, and flat-out death peddler Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on his podcast. So now here we are back where we started: screw Michael Cohen.
Not to be confused with Benjamin Franklin Pierce.
CHEERS to "Young Hickory of the Granite Hills.” Now placing just a notch or two above George W. Bush and Donald Trump on the competence scale: New Hampshire's Franklin "#14" Pierce, whose life was a slow downward spiral, from the childhood deaths of his three children (including Benjamin, killed in a train derailment at age 11 after Pierce won the election) and his despondent and unstable wife, to his unsuccessful battle against the bottle.
During his lethargic one term in office (1853-1857) he managed to piss just about everybody off, and he failed to get the nomination for a second term. Adding insult to injury, he became so invisible that he didn’t attend successor James Buchanan's inauguration because they forgot to send a carriage to get him. And while the journalist missed nailing George W. Bush’s head with his shoes in Iraq some years back, an assailant did once manage to nail Pierce in D.C. with a hard-boiled egg. You know the drill...go wish him a happy 217th birthday. Lord knows he could use some cheering up.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 23, 2011
JEERS to The Man Who Would Not Be President. Herman Cain talks about his cancer treatment in that unique way only a Republican dirtbag can:
Uneasily? Really? They should've been rolling in the aisles! Damn, that's funny. Cain, see, thought the doctor was a Muslim…but he wasn't, so everybody breathed a sigh of relief! Get it? Get it? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Next stop…the Improv! [11/23/21 Update: Mr. Cain beat his cancer, but would later be murdered with Covid by the 45th President of the United States, a fellow Republican. This will likely be the final update on this matter.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the calm before the calm. After going through all the alphabet names from Ana to Wanda, there are only 7 days 'til the end of Atlantic hurricane season for the U.S. Let's check in and see if NOAA thinks anyone should be building arks:
Nope—all clear, at last. Let’s just quietly tiptoe along and speak no more of it. And for God’s sake, someone tell everyone in the Caribbean to cancel their spinning classes for a week. That’s how these things start.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Continued...
Who made sure preventive, aka “essential” services like checkups and colonoscopies are included in your monthly premium at no extra cost? Democrats.
Who brought you the right to keep your kids on your health insurance policy until they're 26? Democrats.
Who made sure every state has the ability to expand Medicaid, giving the poorest residents affordable access to health insurance, many for the first time in their lives? Democrats.
In Joe Biden’s America: Big savings, better coverage.
Who headed up the first state governments to expand Medicaid? Democrats.
Who still wants to abolish all of the above? Republicans.
Who isn’t going to let them? Democrats.
Who’s going to expand the ACA even more by passing the Build Back Better law? Democrats.
When does the 2022 ACA federal exchange enrollment period end for coverage starting January 1? December 15.
Where is the official site? Healthcare.gov.
Any questions?
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 23, 2021
Note: Here’s what you can expect C&J-wise for the rest of the week: regular C&J tomorrow, special Thanksgiving edition Thursday morning, no C&J Friday, though we’ll probably post a "Who Won the Week" poll in the diaries around 7pm, and we’ll be back in the saddle Monday. We wish you a reasonably sane and safe holiday. And remember: if you really want to own the conservatives at your Thanksgiving dinner table, give all the food a liberal sprinkling of bamboo fibers. —Mgt.
-
By the Numbers:
10 days!!!
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 2
Days 'til the Sun ‘n Fun Holiday Fly-In Festival & Car Show in Lakeland, Florida: 10
Expected e-commerce holiday sales this year, a 10% increase that would be a record: $207 billion
Number of Medicare patients who could get coverage for hearing aids under the Build Back Better Act passed by the House last week: 25 million
Monthly cap for insulin under the bill: $35
Age of Lawrence Brooks, the oldest-surviving World War II veteran: 112
Number of turkeys who will slay their captors this week and escape on motorcycles: 8
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: All hail the king…
-
CHEERS to a cherished holiday tradition: taking your life in your hands. Thanksgiving is looming like a 20-pound platter of mashed potatoes, and AAA predicts that with Joe Biden at the helm instead of The Thing, everyone’s in a better mood this year, vaccinations and boosters are going into arms at a phenomenal rate, and that means there’ll be a lot more travelers screaming, cursing and smelling kinda gamey between now and next Tuesday:
Airports and roads may seem jam-packed this year as AAA predicts 53.4 million people to travel for the Thanksgiving holiday, up 13% from 2020. This brings travel volumes within 5% of pre-pandemic levels in 2019, with air travel almost completely recovering from its dramatic fall during the pandemic.
With 6.4 million more people traveling this Thanksgiving coupled with the recent opening of the U.S. borders to fully vaccinated international travelers—people should prepare for roads and airports to be noticeably more crowded.
The CDC recently released its recommendations for holiday gatherings and related travel, saying that the best way to minimize COVID-19 risk is to get vaccinated if you’re eligible. AAA urges anyone considering gathering or traveling for Thanksgiving to consult CDC guidance before finalizing holiday plans.
If you'll be among the road-trippers, please be safe, wear a mask, and practice common-sense driving etiquette: your right hand is for texting and your left hand is for flipping the bird.
CHEERS or JEERS (the jury’s literally still out) to the wheels of justice. Coming off of last week's disappointing Kyle Rittenhouse verdict in Weirdconsin (but he really, really likes Black people—he likes them so much that he's willing to stick his nose in another town's business in search of allies of Black people to shoot with an army gun, don'tcha see???), closing arguments were held yesterday in Brunswick, Georgia in the trial of three MAGA Bubbas who chased, shot, and killed unarmed Ahmaud Arbery nearly two years ago. The prosecution's argument was airtight, with evidence clearly showing it was cold-blooded murder. Then it was the defense team's turn to hook their thumbs under their suspenders and give it their best shot:
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
A courtroom.
What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.”
Well. At least they didn’t try the Twinkie defense.
JEERS to...hic!...#29. On November 23, 1921, President Warren Harding lost my vote by signing the Willis-Campbell Act, which clamped down on doctors who prescribed beer or liquor for medicinal purposes. That's why today C&J does all of its own self-diagnosing. It’s been touch-and-go for awhile. We went through several prescription pads while suffering from a chronic case of Infrastructure Week Deficiency, and now we’re suffering from an acute case of Dear God Make The Anti-Vaxxers Shut Their Pie Holes Syndrome. Thank god when I asked my inner Dr. Billy, he told me that, yes, Bacardi 151 was right for me. And then I tossed myself a lime to prevent scurvy. Can’t wait ‘til I get to try my hand at self-open-heart surgery—forty more payments and that chainsaw on Amazon Prime is all mine.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to gettin' sprung. Let history reflect that on Monday, November 22, 2021, Donald Trump's former lawyer and "fixer" Michael Cohen, who was betrayed by his boss and then turned on him, officially ended his prison sentence, but not his crusade to get revenge on The Thing:
His first act as a free man: booking anti-vax disinformation peddler, cavorter with Nazis, and flat-out death peddler Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on his podcast. So now here we are back where we started: screw Michael Cohen.
Not to be confused with Benjamin Franklin Pierce.
CHEERS to "Young Hickory of the Granite Hills.” Now placing just a notch or two above George W. Bush and Donald Trump on the competence scale: New Hampshire's Franklin "#14" Pierce, whose life was a slow downward spiral, from the childhood deaths of his three children (including Benjamin, killed in a train derailment at age 11 after Pierce won the election) and his despondent and unstable wife, to his unsuccessful battle against the bottle.
During his lethargic one term in office (1853-1857) he managed to piss just about everybody off, and he failed to get the nomination for a second term. Adding insult to injury, he became so invisible that he didn’t attend successor James Buchanan's inauguration because they forgot to send a carriage to get him. And while the journalist missed nailing George W. Bush’s head with his shoes in Iraq some years back, an assailant did once manage to nail Pierce in D.C. with a hard-boiled egg. You know the drill...go wish him a happy 217th birthday. Lord knows he could use some cheering up.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: November 23, 2011
JEERS to The Man Who Would Not Be President. Herman Cain talks about his cancer treatment in that unique way only a Republican dirtbag can:
He did have a slight worry at one point during the chemotherapy process when he discovered that one of the surgeon's name was "Dr. Abdallah."
RIP, Dumbass.
"I said to his physician assistant, I said, 'That sounds foreign—not that I had anything against foreign doctors—but it sounded too foreign," Cain tells the audience. "She said, 'He's from Lebanon.' Oh, Lebanon! My mind immediately started thinking, wait a minute, maybe his religious persuasion is different than mine! She could see the look on my face and she said, 'Don't worry, Mr. Cain, he's a Christian from Lebanon.'"
"Hallelujah!" Cain says. "Thank God!" The crowd laughs uneasily.
Uneasily? Really? They should've been rolling in the aisles! Damn, that's funny. Cain, see, thought the doctor was a Muslim…but he wasn't, so everybody breathed a sigh of relief! Get it? Get it? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! Next stop…the Improv! [11/23/21 Update: Mr. Cain beat his cancer, but would later be murdered with Covid by the 45th President of the United States, a fellow Republican. This will likely be the final update on this matter.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the calm before the calm. After going through all the alphabet names from Ana to Wanda, there are only 7 days 'til the end of Atlantic hurricane season for the U.S. Let's check in and see if NOAA thinks anyone should be building arks:
Nope—all clear, at last. Let’s just quietly tiptoe along and speak no more of it. And for God’s sake, someone tell everyone in the Caribbean to cancel their spinning classes for a week. That’s how these things start.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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