“If you dare open your presents with your family, it’s over.”
Kimmel cranks up the miracle kinetograph for a look back at how Il Fauci and his trained demon rats tried to steal Christmas one year ago in the latest installment of...
And we all lived happily ever after.
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 8, 2021
Note: Only 7 days left to sign up for ACA health insurance at Healthcare.gov for coverage starting January 1st. Pass it on.
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By the Numbers:
Saturday!!!
Days 'til Christmas: 17
Days 'til the 8th annual Parade of Paws in Key West: 3
Months since the price of natural gas was as low as it is now: 4
Decline in the cancer death rate since 1971: 26.5%
Factor by which the COVID death rate is now higher overall in Trump counties than Biden counties: 3x
Portion of retail jobs that are held by people over 55: 1-in-4
Years since the premiere of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country as of this week: 30
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 2 date settings and 1 more loudmouth grifter for God who chose poooorly). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy birthday #9 (60 in human years, we’re told) to C&J's rescue lab-mix and cancer survivor Haley. One of the happiest and smartest dogs we've ever had the privilege of being owned by, SBDs and all. Everyone: please enjoy the free birthday breakfast kibble in the C&J cafeteria this morning (we’re putting out extra ketchup) in honor of our goofy ol' dawg from Macon, Georgia, seen here chasing either intruders or tennis balls in her sleep:
Happy birthday, old lady
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CHEERS to lassoing the bad guys. Yee…haaaaaw!!! This week Attorney General and Frontier Marshal Merrick Garland rustled up a posse of steely-eyed, briefcase-toting high plains drifters from the Justice Department, mounted his trusty steed Elliot Ness, and blazed a trail of dust and dread as he crossed the border into the lawless republic of Texas to mete out some D.C.-style justice to the ruthless (and soap-less, judging by the smell) Abbott Gang:
While they're waiting for a response, Garland and his posse will be at the Cockeyed Armadillo Saloon playin' Go Fish and knocking back shots of warm milk. In a dirty glass.
CHEERS to doing the math. Gold star this week to Dana Milbank of The Washington Post for daring to take on his own profession—journamalism—by using computers and science to show his fellow journamalists that their coverage of good, smart, and hard-working Democratic presidents is as negative as evil, dumb, and lazy Republican presidents:
Another glaring example of media bias: for four years (five if you count his 2015 campaigning), the button-down nightly network newscasts breathlessly read tweet after tweet from Trump. Every…damn…night, catapulting his gaslighting, petty grievances, and apocalyptic nonsense into America's living rooms with nary a fact check. (Or spellcheck.) But during Biden's presidency? A total blackout on his optimistic, factual, and important messages for the American people. Why, I'm so shocked I think I may have just raised one eyebrow a whole millimeter.
JEERS to compassionate conservabuttheads. As income inequality unnecessarily continues squeezing more and more Americans (even those with full-time jobs) through the holes in the safety net (how’s that Build Back Better Act comin’, Senators?), we're reminded that 38 years ago this week, Attorney General Ed Meese claimed that people go to soup kitchens "because food is free and that's easier than paying for it." Could Reagan pick 'em or could Reagan pick 'em?
JEERS to NAFTA. On December 8, 1993 the North American Free Trade Agreement was signed into law by President Clinton. It eliminates virtually all tariffs and trade restrictions between the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. To celebrate, officials will commemorate its 28th anniversary by visiting U.S. manufacturing plants all across the country. And that country, of course, would be Mexico.
JEERS to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic that is your career. Guess who's leaving to do what he'll find out soon enough is an unpaid internship at Perv-A-Lago?
Yup. Devin's toodling off at the end of the year to go work for Trump's media empire, a sham skeleton structure made of popsicle sticks and grifter's glue. The biggest winner from the move: the air quality in Congress.
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Ten years ago in C&J: December 8, 2011
JEERS to redefining "sex drive." Well, ladies, I'm afraid this settles it:
But not locust plagues or giant meteors crashing into the earth. Because that would be silly.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to A Timely and Necessary Musical Interlude. 41 years ago today, on December 8, 1980, John Lennon was gunned down by some moron. I was 16 and getting ready for school when I heard the news that day (oh boy), and it's hard to fathom that I'm now nearly twenty years older than he was—40—when he was killed. Lennon believed that all you need is love, give peace a chance and war is over if you want it. And this, too…
YouTube Video
Today there will be commemorations of John Lennon's life and activism. Pay no attention to the war industry and the NRA rolling their eyes. They’re assholes.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Kimmel cranks up the miracle kinetograph for a look back at how Il Fauci and his trained demon rats tried to steal Christmas one year ago in the latest installment of...
And we all lived happily ever after.
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 8, 2021
Note: Only 7 days left to sign up for ACA health insurance at Healthcare.gov for coverage starting January 1st. Pass it on.
-
By the Numbers:
Saturday!!!
Days 'til Christmas: 17
Days 'til the 8th annual Parade of Paws in Key West: 3
Months since the price of natural gas was as low as it is now: 4
Decline in the cancer death rate since 1971: 26.5%
Factor by which the COVID death rate is now higher overall in Trump counties than Biden counties: 3x
Portion of retail jobs that are held by people over 55: 1-in-4
Years since the premiere of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country as of this week: 30
-
Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 2 date settings and 1 more loudmouth grifter for God who chose poooorly). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy birthday #9 (60 in human years, we’re told) to C&J's rescue lab-mix and cancer survivor Haley. One of the happiest and smartest dogs we've ever had the privilege of being owned by, SBDs and all. Everyone: please enjoy the free birthday breakfast kibble in the C&J cafeteria this morning (we’re putting out extra ketchup) in honor of our goofy ol' dawg from Macon, Georgia, seen here chasing either intruders or tennis balls in her sleep:
Happy birthday, old lady
-
CHEERS to lassoing the bad guys. Yee…haaaaaw!!! This week Attorney General and Frontier Marshal Merrick Garland rustled up a posse of steely-eyed, briefcase-toting high plains drifters from the Justice Department, mounted his trusty steed Elliot Ness, and blazed a trail of dust and dread as he crossed the border into the lawless republic of Texas to mete out some D.C.-style justice to the ruthless (and soap-less, judging by the smell) Abbott Gang:
The Department of Justice on Monday sued Texas to block the state’s new redistricting plans, arguing in a complaint that district maps drawn and approved by the Republican state legislature “refused to recognize the state’s growing minority electorate.”
“Wait a minute, guys. Weren’t we supposed to take a left at Albuquerque?”
The heavily gerrymandered maps violate Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, the Justice Department said, because they deny equal representation to the state’s Black and Latino voters. […]
Discrimination is a routine feature of Texas’ redistricting plans: Federal courts have found the state in violation of the Voting Rights Act in each redistricting cycle since 1970.
While they're waiting for a response, Garland and his posse will be at the Cockeyed Armadillo Saloon playin' Go Fish and knocking back shots of warm milk. In a dirty glass.
CHEERS to doing the math. Gold star this week to Dana Milbank of The Washington Post for daring to take on his own profession—journamalism—by using computers and science to show his fellow journamalists that their coverage of good, smart, and hard-working Democratic presidents is as negative as evil, dumb, and lazy Republican presidents:
[Milbank's new data] shows that the media is treating President Joe Biden as bad or worse than it did former President Donald Trump. … “The folks who did this for me cast a very wide net. So you get the extremes and also all of us in the middle to the greatest extent possible.” […]
The graph that will live in infamy.
It’s not bias. It’s the actual words we’re using. So we are as negative as a collective media on Joe Biden, if not more so than we were to Donald Trump at a time when he was trying to overthrow democracy. That is a tremendous indictment of the whole industry.
“[T]here’s a real problem when we are being just as adversarial because a guy doesn’t pass a bill, as we are when a guy is trying to overthrow democracy.”
Another glaring example of media bias: for four years (five if you count his 2015 campaigning), the button-down nightly network newscasts breathlessly read tweet after tweet from Trump. Every…damn…night, catapulting his gaslighting, petty grievances, and apocalyptic nonsense into America's living rooms with nary a fact check. (Or spellcheck.) But during Biden's presidency? A total blackout on his optimistic, factual, and important messages for the American people. Why, I'm so shocked I think I may have just raised one eyebrow a whole millimeter.
JEERS to compassionate conservabuttheads. As income inequality unnecessarily continues squeezing more and more Americans (even those with full-time jobs) through the holes in the safety net (how’s that Build Back Better Act comin’, Senators?), we're reminded that 38 years ago this week, Attorney General Ed Meese claimed that people go to soup kitchens "because food is free and that's easier than paying for it." Could Reagan pick 'em or could Reagan pick 'em?
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to NAFTA. On December 8, 1993 the North American Free Trade Agreement was signed into law by President Clinton. It eliminates virtually all tariffs and trade restrictions between the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. To celebrate, officials will commemorate its 28th anniversary by visiting U.S. manufacturing plants all across the country. And that country, of course, would be Mexico.
JEERS to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic that is your career. Guess who's leaving to do what he'll find out soon enough is an unpaid internship at Perv-A-Lago?
Yup. Devin's toodling off at the end of the year to go work for Trump's media empire, a sham skeleton structure made of popsicle sticks and grifter's glue. The biggest winner from the move: the air quality in Congress.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: December 8, 2011
JEERS to redefining "sex drive." Well, ladies, I'm afraid this settles it:
But not locust plagues or giant meteors crashing into the earth. Because that would be silly.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to A Timely and Necessary Musical Interlude. 41 years ago today, on December 8, 1980, John Lennon was gunned down by some moron. I was 16 and getting ready for school when I heard the news that day (oh boy), and it's hard to fathom that I'm now nearly twenty years older than he was—40—when he was killed. Lennon believed that all you need is love, give peace a chance and war is over if you want it. And this, too…
YouTube Video
-
Today there will be commemorations of John Lennon's life and activism. Pay no attention to the war industry and the NRA rolling their eyes. They’re assholes.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
-