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Elon Musk tired of getting ratioed on Twitter, wants to buy the platform again

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Richest guy in the world Elon Musk has had a busy two days. On Monday, the genius who brought you (checks notes) getting lucky by helping to create PayPal back when that was the only thing in internet town decided to wade into foreign policy. Musk—who moved his business operations to Texas so he doesn’t have to pay taxes, and has said he thinks Ron DeSantis is a good candidate for anything other than helping you move a couch from one room to another—had something to say about Ukraine and Russia.

He wanted to poll his large following on Twitter on his “Ukraine-Russia Peace” initiative. Not surprisingly, his offer of a “peace” negotiation aligned almost exactly with Vladimir Putin and Fox News’ desires: “Redo elections of annexed regions under UN supervision. Russia leaves if that is will of the people. - Crimea formally part of Russia, as it has been since 1783 (until Khrushchev’s mistake). - Water supply to Crimea assured. - Ukraine remains neutral.” The overwhelming majority of almost 3 million votes rejected Musk’s crap idea, which Musk then implied was due to secret bots. That’s because when you are the richest man in the world you truly believe your shit doesn’t stink, and you can get virtually everyone around you to say as much.

The majority of Twitter didn’t agree with Musk in part because it was a crap deal and in part because many people don’t think Elon Musk is half as smart as his fans think he is. Musk also received blowback from the many people who don’t look at foreign affairs as an impediment to their personal wealth.* One of the more highlighted responses to Musk’s Monday solipsism was from Ukrainian ambassador to Germany Andrij Melnyk, who wrote: “Fuck off is my very diplomatic reply to you Elon Musk.” Having failed spectacularly on Monday, Musk decided to see if he could get a win the following day by threatening the millions of people who don’t routinely agree with him on Twitter.

*If people are fighting, it’s hard to charter private jets safely through airspace in between vacation and business jaunts.

Let’s look at that exchange.

Fuck off is my very diplomatic reply to you @elonmusk

— Andrij Melnyk (@MelnykAndrij) October 3, 2022

Musk’s mostly underdeveloped libertarian (that might be redundant) fanbase was quick to chime in on how Musk’s Starlink terminals have been brought in to help Ukraine with their communication systems during the war with Russia. Like all rugged individuals who drink from the teat of tech genius mythology, they either forget to mention or just don’t realize that the Starlink program in Ukraine has been bankrolled by our tax dollars, and will create a revenue stream for Musk starting three months after the “free data” period is up. Like a cable company!

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy had this to say:

Which @elonmusk do you like more?

— Володимир Зеленський (@ZelenskyyUa) October 3, 2022


And there were more responses to Musk that are worth repeating.

I just did an election in my house, from where I can see a Tesla factory, my household agrees your factory now belongs to me. I’ll be sending you the paperwork to hand it all over tomorrow.

— Ko&5 (@KoenS31272685) October 3, 2022

And this one might hit close to Musk’s new pretend home.

I’m ok with giving Texas back to Mexico.

— Lisa Mikolajczyk (@LisaMikolajczy3) October 4, 2022

And I liked this one a lot.

TESLA-FORD peace: I propose that Tesla belongs to Ford from now on. After all, cars once belonged mainly to Ford. And the space part of @elonmusk company will be decided in a referendum under the supervision of the United Nations.

— Cezary Tomczyk (@CTomczyk) October 3, 2022


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Musk took quite the L on that post, and justifiably so. What do you do the next day? You do an about face and say you are going to buy Twitter after realizing that more and more of your texts with celebrities and titans of industry are going to be leaked, exposing you for having the generally mediocre personality we have come to expect from the wealthiest power brokers in our world.

Bloomberg reported on Tuesday that sources close to the matter say that Musk’s legal team has made it clear they do not think he will fare well in his case against the social media company. According to the report, Musk has reproposed buying Twitter after spending the past few months criticizing everything about Twitter, saying it’s made out of bots, and trying to back out of his attempt to buy the company for over $44 billion.

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