No matter how worthless a white person’s opinion is, the media will eventually seek it out. On a recent episode of CBS News Originals’ Reverb series, the network sent a reporter to find out what the fuck is up with critical race theory.
Because we white folk are apparently the snowflakiest hominids in the history of bipedalism, the media feel compelled to take our pulse from time to time (i.e., always). “Let’s go to another crappy, colon-maiming diner and ask people which stupid reason for supporting Donald Trump they’re trotting out today! ‘He’s a businessman and gets things done’? ‘He doesn’t talk down to me’?” Yeah, there’s a reason for that: It’s because he can’t.
As you reflect on the serial depredations of critical race theory—which currently upsets more conservative white people than actual racism—I implore you not to look into this vacuous woman’s eyes. You will either see through time to the heat death of the universe, or feel overwhelmed by an unslakable thirst for pumpkin spice lattes and Sam’s Club slurpin’ mayonnaise. To paraphrase the great Nigel Tufnel: “How much more white could she be? And the answer is none. None more white.”
But what is it about this phony bugbear that has so many people riled up? You have to see what CBS News found to believe it.
This clip is from The Trials of Critical Race Theory, a deep dive into critical race theory and the febrile persecution fantasies of the deludenoids who are alarmed by it. Even though, you know, it’s taught in basically no public elementary schools anywhere. In the clip, reporter Adam Yamaguchi interviews Moms for Liberty Williamson County (TN) Chair Robin Steenman, who is apparently determined to keep (white) kids from learning about racism until after they’ve heard their uncle casually use the N-word about 400 times during Thanksgiving Day football broadcasts.
Partial transcript!
Okay, that’s all pretty absurd, but here’s the bit that jumped out at me like a coked-up spider monkey: “Well, it’s highlighting racism, you know, that a police officer would discriminate based on skin color. Most kids would have no idea that a police officer could or would do that.”
Uh-huh. You know who does want their kids to learn about police discrimination based on skin color? Any Black parent who would like their kid to live past the age of 10. But God forbid we let children know about the history of racism in our country. Those firehoses were real. Those traumatizing photos are genuine. And those experiences—awful as they were—were nothing compared to actual slavery.
Is that too “heavy” for a second-grader? Well, it’s better than teaching them that genocidal maniac Christopher Columbus was a hero, because that’s an egregious lie, and lies make the baby Jesus cry.
And, hey, news flash! Black people and white people still aren’t treated equally. That’s just obvious. Teaching kids that undeniable fact isn’t teaching them how to be “racist.” It’s teaching them perspective and compassion, and perhaps how to do better with intention.
I fear for our future if people are so delicate they can’t even accept self-evident truths about our country’s history.
This is also a great point:
Yeah, me neither. Why is that, you think?
Oh, and this, too:
Listen, I grew up in a pretty racist town in Wisconsin. Sadly, it was fairly representative of other Wisconsin towns, and I can only assume, based on further observation, that it was fairly typical of other predominantly white small towns in America. There’s no age that’s “too young” to teach kids about racism. They’re already learning it—only the lessons they’re getting at home and on the playground are decidedly not worth learning.
If we don’t teach them about Jim Crow, Bull Connor, and the Middle Passage when they’re young, they’ll already be well on their way to internalizing racist attitudes before they can absorb more responsible lessons.
And then we all lose—all people alike.
Oh, hey there! To celebrate the first anniversary of Donald Trump’s defenestration, three of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s e-books are available for the super-low price of 99 cents each. Get Goodbye, Asshat, Dear F*cking Moron, and Dear Pr*sident A**clown now as part of this Amazon Countdown deal. Look back on Trump’s awful reign of error—and laugh!
Because we white folk are apparently the snowflakiest hominids in the history of bipedalism, the media feel compelled to take our pulse from time to time (i.e., always). “Let’s go to another crappy, colon-maiming diner and ask people which stupid reason for supporting Donald Trump they’re trotting out today! ‘He’s a businessman and gets things done’? ‘He doesn’t talk down to me’?” Yeah, there’s a reason for that: It’s because he can’t.
As you reflect on the serial depredations of critical race theory—which currently upsets more conservative white people than actual racism—I implore you not to look into this vacuous woman’s eyes. You will either see through time to the heat death of the universe, or feel overwhelmed by an unslakable thirst for pumpkin spice lattes and Sam’s Club slurpin’ mayonnaise. To paraphrase the great Nigel Tufnel: “How much more white could she be? And the answer is none. None more white.”
But what is it about this phony bugbear that has so many people riled up? You have to see what CBS News found to believe it.
This clip is from The Trials of Critical Race Theory, a deep dive into critical race theory and the febrile persecution fantasies of the deludenoids who are alarmed by it. Even though, you know, it’s taught in basically no public elementary schools anywhere. In the clip, reporter Adam Yamaguchi interviews Moms for Liberty Williamson County (TN) Chair Robin Steenman, who is apparently determined to keep (white) kids from learning about racism until after they’ve heard their uncle casually use the N-word about 400 times during Thanksgiving Day football broadcasts.
Partial transcript!
Okay, that’s all pretty absurd, but here’s the bit that jumped out at me like a coked-up spider monkey: “Well, it’s highlighting racism, you know, that a police officer would discriminate based on skin color. Most kids would have no idea that a police officer could or would do that.”
Uh-huh. You know who does want their kids to learn about police discrimination based on skin color? Any Black parent who would like their kid to live past the age of 10. But God forbid we let children know about the history of racism in our country. Those firehoses were real. Those traumatizing photos are genuine. And those experiences—awful as they were—were nothing compared to actual slavery.
Is that too “heavy” for a second-grader? Well, it’s better than teaching them that genocidal maniac Christopher Columbus was a hero, because that’s an egregious lie, and lies make the baby Jesus cry.
And, hey, news flash! Black people and white people still aren’t treated equally. That’s just obvious. Teaching kids that undeniable fact isn’t teaching them how to be “racist.” It’s teaching them perspective and compassion, and perhaps how to do better with intention.
I fear for our future if people are so delicate they can’t even accept self-evident truths about our country’s history.
This is also a great point:
Yeah, me neither. Why is that, you think?
Oh, and this, too:
Listen, I grew up in a pretty racist town in Wisconsin. Sadly, it was fairly representative of other Wisconsin towns, and I can only assume, based on further observation, that it was fairly typical of other predominantly white small towns in America. There’s no age that’s “too young” to teach kids about racism. They’re already learning it—only the lessons they’re getting at home and on the playground are decidedly not worth learning.
If we don’t teach them about Jim Crow, Bull Connor, and the Middle Passage when they’re young, they’ll already be well on their way to internalizing racist attitudes before they can absorb more responsible lessons.
And then we all lose—all people alike.
Oh, hey there! To celebrate the first anniversary of Donald Trump’s defenestration, three of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s e-books are available for the super-low price of 99 cents each. Get Goodbye, Asshat, Dear F*cking Moron, and Dear Pr*sident A**clown now as part of this Amazon Countdown deal. Look back on Trump’s awful reign of error—and laugh!