Funny Tweets About The Things Kids Collect

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From Legos to seashells to dead leaves on the ground, there’s no limit to the kinds of things kids will collect.

Consequently, there’s no shortage of parents venting about their children’s collecting habits on Twitter. If your child won’t stop picking up rocks and bringing them home, you’re not alone.

We’ve rounded up 22 funny tweets about the things kids collect. Enjoy!

The 4yo has started a leaf collection bc that’s exactly what this house needed.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 23, 2019​

My son loves collecting rocks & pocketing them on the way home from school.

A 6 minute walk now takes 32 minutes, & his coat weighs 7 pounds.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 20, 2018​

Before I had kids I never thought I'd have to say the words, "We don't collect dead skunks to make rugs with" out loud, yet here we are.

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) June 3, 2016​

what weird stuff did you collect as a youngster? mine:
-skeleton keys
-obscure Scarlet Pimpernel sequels
-tiny fake foods for my shadow box

— Nicole Chung 정수정 (@nicolesjchung) October 25, 2017​

Other kids: collects rocks/Pokemon cards/unicorns/Hot Wheels*

My kid: booger burial ground behind her right curtain panel; the large ones live under her pillow

— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) May 19, 2020​

My kids: Did you have an iPad when you were little?

Me: No, but I did collect tiny pictures of my favorite athletes and they had math on the back

— The Dad (@thedad) May 17, 2021​

The year is 2054. My son sits down for his documentary.

Reporter: So what would you say led to your impressive and horrifying killing spree?

Him: Well I think it all began when I was six and my mom threw out my collection of kazoos I’d made from toilet paper rolls

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 30, 2020​

My kid clipped his toenails.
He walked away to throw out clippings & said with his back to me, “These should complete my collection nicely,” & I burst into laughter but he didn’t, & he kept walking, so now I sleep with a butcher knife under my pillow.

— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) November 16, 2020​

Me: you already have 17 fortnite skins... you don’t need more
9: I just want one or two more... I like collecting them
Me: it’s just so unnecessary

Also me: *goes to stationery store to visit the journals with the pretty covers even though 5 unused journals sit on her nightstand

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 15, 2018​

My 4 year old loves collecting leaves in the fall, so walking from the car to the house takes 45 minutes & 247 leaves long.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 12, 2017​

TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER
7yo: I have an empty snail shell collection.
Me: How many do you have?
7yo: Zero.
Me: ZERO?
7yo: I said it was empty.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) June 7, 2014​

What did you collect as a kid? Mine was unicorn figurines and every single tag off of every piece of clothing I ever had. No, I don’t want to talk about it, now you go!

— ?steph? (@eff_yeah_steph) February 22, 2019​

My son had a meltdown because his sister accidentally stepped on his piece of popcorn shaped "perfectly like an octopus" and he was saving it for "his collection." I don't know about this collection. I don't want to know about this collection.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 4, 2021​

Some kids collect Pokémon cards. My kid collects lint. Dryer lint. On the bright side, it's very affordable.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) November 20, 2016​

My 16yo son just showed me his collection of 112 different wet naps that he has collected over the past four years from different places and I realized: He just might be as strange as me. pic.twitter.com/YIs55JpQgU

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 11, 2018​

When I was a kid my biggest goal in life was to collect a magnet from every state so I could arrange them all on my refrigerator.

I just bought another one if you wanted to know what a total nerd I still am.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 11, 2019​

Consider having kids just to feel the true joy of watching them grow your collection of reusable gift bags

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 9, 2020​

Being a parent I thought stepping on LEGO’s was bad. Nope. My daughter collects rocks and lays them on her floor

— ραιzℓєє? (@paizlee__) January 21, 2020​

My 5yo heard a toy commercial say “You can collect them all” and yelled “NO YOU CAN’T! There’s too many and you could never fit them all in your house!” and I was like PREACH, girl.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 9, 2018​

My kids and I collect uncomfortable books. I found this lil beauty today. The back cover's blurb is the scariest rollercoaster I've been on in ages. pic.twitter.com/9E11tu0r6t

— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) September 7, 2020​

Today our toddler collected flowers for mommy. He selected each flower carefully, making sure every one had the right color and smell.

After she had a full bouquet he asked to hold the collection of this labor of love.

Then he threw them as hard as he can into the woods.

— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) April 24, 2019​

As an 11-year-old I was a “nerd” for collecting superhero comic books.

Fast forward: Every superhero film makes a billion dollars and wins 5 Oscars.

— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) March 20, 2018​

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