Irony is Rep. Lauren Boebert worrying about a terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol. And speaking in front of an American flag. And being a member of Congress, for that matter.
The same woman who’s undermined Capitol security, endangered her colleagues by flouting mask-wearing rules, fantasized about blowing up the Capitol metal detectors, and tweeted about Nancy Pelosi’s location during the Jan. 6 siege is suddenly interested in Capitol security.
Uh-huh.
Check this bullshit if you can stomach it:
Of course, you’ll be shocked to learn that this story appears to be completely made up:
For the nontweeters:
Boebert often brags about giving birth to one of her children in her truck.* I’m starting to wonder if Boebert’s mom gave birth to her in a polyethylene meth barrel.
Either way, she doesn’t belong in Congress. Accusing other members of being terrorists would appear to violate decorum, at the very least. Then again, she’s been Team Chaos from the very beginning. That won’t end until she’s bounced out of Congress. Which, thankfully, should be very soon.
*In fact, this is Republicans’ best argument against paid parental leave. Look! Lauren Boebert’s kid has a permanent divot in its head where the gear shift penetrated. Therefore, no one should be given the time and resources it takes to raise healthy, well-adjusted children.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Friday, Nov 26, 2021 · 6:50:44 PM +00:00 · Aldous J Pennyfarthing
UPDATE: Boebert has attempted an apology:
The same woman who’s undermined Capitol security, endangered her colleagues by flouting mask-wearing rules, fantasized about blowing up the Capitol metal detectors, and tweeted about Nancy Pelosi’s location during the Jan. 6 siege is suddenly interested in Capitol security.
Uh-huh.
Check this bullshit if you can stomach it:
Over the Thanksgiving break, Lauren Boebert said she was recently in a Capitol elevator with Ilhan Omar when a fretful Capitol police officer ran up. Lauren Boebert said: “Well, she doesn’t have a backpack. We should be fine.” Boebert then called Ilhan Omar, “jihad squad.” pic.twitter.com/Y7f0nFbnud
— PatriotTakes ?? (@patriottakes) November 25, 2021
BOEBERT: “So I was getting into an elevator with one of my staffers, and he and I, we’re leaving the Capitol, we’re going back to my office, we get in an elevator, and I see a Capitol police officer running hurriedly to the elevator. I see fret all over his face, and he’s reaching. The door’s shutting. I can’t open it. What’s happening? I look to my left and there she is, Ilhan Omar. And I said, well, ‘She doesn’t have a backpack, we should be fine.’ [Laughter] So we only had one floor to go, and it was like, ‘Ah, do I say it or not?’ I looked over, and I said, ‘Oh, look, the Jihad Squad decided to show up for work today.’ It’s just her staffers on Twitter that talk for her. She’s not tough in person. She doesn’t … yeah.”
Of course, you’ll be shocked to learn that this story appears to be completely made up:
Fact, this buffoon looks down when she sees me at the Capitol, this whole story is made up. Sad she thinks bigotry gets her clout. Anti-Muslim bigotry isn’t funny & shouldn’t be normalized. Congress can’t be a place where hateful and dangerous Muslims tropes get no condemnation. https://t.co/S1APT7RbqW
— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) November 26, 2021
For the nontweeters:
REP. ILHAN OMAR: “Fact, this buffoon looks down when she sees me at the Capitol, this whole story is made up. Sad she thinks bigotry gets her clout.
Anti-Muslim bigotry isn’t funny & shouldn’t be normalized. Congress can’t be a place where hateful and dangerous Muslims tropes get no condemnation.”
Boebert often brags about giving birth to one of her children in her truck.* I’m starting to wonder if Boebert’s mom gave birth to her in a polyethylene meth barrel.
Either way, she doesn’t belong in Congress. Accusing other members of being terrorists would appear to violate decorum, at the very least. Then again, she’s been Team Chaos from the very beginning. That won’t end until she’s bounced out of Congress. Which, thankfully, should be very soon.
*In fact, this is Republicans’ best argument against paid parental leave. Look! Lauren Boebert’s kid has a permanent divot in its head where the gear shift penetrated. Therefore, no one should be given the time and resources it takes to raise healthy, well-adjusted children.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Friday, Nov 26, 2021 · 6:50:44 PM +00:00 · Aldous J Pennyfarthing
UPDATE: Boebert has attempted an apology:
I apologize to anyone in the Muslim community I offended with my comment about Rep. Omar. I have reached out to her office to speak with her directly. There are plenty of policy differences to focus on without this unnecessary distraction.
— Rep. Lauren Boebert (@RepBoebert) November 26, 2021