Life with toddlers is a real rollercoaster – one moment they’re telling you they love you, the next they’re mooing at you as you step out of the shower.
Fast forward two hours and they’re prostrate on the floor, screaming at you because you wouldn’t let them lick your shoe.
While they can be pretty harsh sometimes – and totally unreasonable – their brutal honesty and innocent outlook on life often brings plenty of laughs to the table, too.
These tweets sum up just how chaotic life can be with young children – and while we do love a moan as parents, we also know we wouldn’t have it any other way.
1. Where did you hide the poo?!
2. My child loves me... but also pizza.
3. Today in questions you never thought you’d ask yourself: Why is there a car under my back?
4. Hi sweetie. Please stop licking mummy’s face.
5. This parent was probably quite relieved they didn’t get to see their toddler’s carol concert IRL.
Was sent a recording of my toddlers carol concert (no space in her nursery for parents to come and watch) and it’s literally the best thing ever- just a bunch of 3/4 year olds screaming FELIZ NAVIDAD like maniacs with no effort to make it sound like a song. 10/10
— Shannon️ (@Queen_Shannon) December 13, 2022
6. When your toddler is mad because they can’t do something (that also happens to be impossible)...
7. Get this toddler on The Apprentice.
8. Out of the mouth of babes (and all that).
9. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But with the word penis.
Instead of sleeping, my toddler is singing "penis penis penis" to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star and I have no joke to add to this, it's just happening
— InnerMomalogues ?️???? (@IMomalogues) December 1, 2022
10. This two-year-old ran the dishwasher undetected and empty for an entire hour.
11. Imagine being demoted from Your Majesty to Mom Face. Cruel cruel world.
12. Does anyone else’s toddler run like this?
13. Another reason why toddlers get mad: they can’t eat raw food.
14. This toddler wanted to go and buy some more milk for boobies. Then things got a bit dark.
15. Why do all toddlers line up toys like this?
16. Who doesn’t love getting sick 17 times a month?
17. This toddler requested their pear is cut into rectangles and nobody has time for this.
18. Feelings = hurt.
19. When you find out the nation’s favourite coffee chain doesn’t sell books.
Reasons why my toddler is mad at me:
Mom, you said we were going to buy books at @Starbucks
not @Starbucks (then realizing he calls it StarBOOKS)
It’s Starbucks not StarBOOKS!
Himstomping feet) it is Starbooks and we are buying books!
Now I’m the bad guy #parentingpic.twitter.com/tWXUiPA5hK
— Maya Claros (@justmeomaya) December 10, 2022
20. We’re just wondering why any parent would do this to themselves?
21. WFH and looking after toddlers is a real hoot (said no one ever).
22. This tweet is perfection.
23. Two going on... 42?
24. Admittedly they can be cute.
It’s hilarious what toddlers bring home from daycare (when it’s not the latest respiratory virus.) Our little one’s new catch phrase is, “para! no me guuuuusta” which he yells full voice while thrusting out his hand in a stopsign directly in your face.
— Alex Hallowell (@alex_hallowell) December 14, 2022
