Mere days ago, when Dr. Mehmet Oz’s biggest political liability was that he was an out-of-touch carpetbagger who likes to push fake remedies (e.g., Donald Trump) on lonely, desperate people, it looked like the only office he might actually have a shot at winning was dog catcher.
Yeah, about that. If Derp Oz himself was thinking along those lines, he can fuggetaboutit. (That’s how they say it in Jersey—right, Mehmet?)
On Monday, Jezebel dropped a story that somehow managed to be only the second-most explosive revelation of the day. (Sure, voters might be concerned about inflation, but they also have to be a little alarmed that the number of women Herschel Walker has impregnated is currently increasing faster than the cost of Whole Foods crudités.)
Seems that Dr. Moreau Oz has been experimenting with puppies—and not with the kind of wide-eyed childhood innocence you’d see in a future serial killer. No, this was systematic—and by all appearances, exceedingly cruel.
From Jezebel:
Okay, so a bunch of animals were killed in animal experiments. Happens every day, right?
Well …
Yeah, that’s horrifying, but somehow it gets worse. According to Dell’Orto, during one Oz-led study, a litter of puppies was killed via an injection of expired drugs that were inserted directly into their hearts. The puppies weren’t sedated during the procedure, and afterward, they were allegedly placed in a garbage bag with some of their still-living littermates.
In 2004, Columbia University paid a modest $2,000 fine for violations of the Animal Welfare Act following an internal investigation into Dr. Oz’s research. But while the internal Columbia investigation did lead to “consequences,” Dell’Orto suggested that the scandal mostly got swept under the rug, noting that “investigators on the committee ... were also complicit in this type of poorly designed, cruel animal experimentation.” And while Oz didn’t abuse any puppies directly, Dell’Orto pointed out, “When your name is on the experiment, and the way the experiment is designed inflicts such cruelty to these animals, by design, there’s a problem.”
Of course, John Fetterman, being John Fetterman, wasted no time in tweaking this tweedy terrier tormenter.
For the nontweeters:
Naturally, many, many non-dog torturers obliged.
You get the idea.
John Fetterman = happy, playful pups.
Dr. Oz = puppies snuggling up to their dead littermates in Hefty bags for a fleeting dose of comfort and warmth as the light in their eyes dims like the GOP’s chances of taking the Senate.
Say, maybe it’s about time for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to pay our good doctor a visit.
It’s clear that Mehmet Oz is the worst possible choice for Pennsylvanians. Chip in $3 or more to help John Fetterman send him back to New Jersey, not the Senate!
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Yeah, about that. If Derp Oz himself was thinking along those lines, he can fuggetaboutit. (That’s how they say it in Jersey—right, Mehmet?)
On Monday, Jezebel dropped a story that somehow managed to be only the second-most explosive revelation of the day. (Sure, voters might be concerned about inflation, but they also have to be a little alarmed that the number of women Herschel Walker has impregnated is currently increasing faster than the cost of Whole Foods crudités.)
Seems that Dr. Moreau Oz has been experimenting with puppies—and not with the kind of wide-eyed childhood innocence you’d see in a future serial killer. No, this was systematic—and by all appearances, exceedingly cruel.
From Jezebel:
Okay, so a bunch of animals were killed in animal experiments. Happens every day, right?
Well …
Yeah, that’s horrifying, but somehow it gets worse. According to Dell’Orto, during one Oz-led study, a litter of puppies was killed via an injection of expired drugs that were inserted directly into their hearts. The puppies weren’t sedated during the procedure, and afterward, they were allegedly placed in a garbage bag with some of their still-living littermates.
In 2004, Columbia University paid a modest $2,000 fine for violations of the Animal Welfare Act following an internal investigation into Dr. Oz’s research. But while the internal Columbia investigation did lead to “consequences,” Dell’Orto suggested that the scandal mostly got swept under the rug, noting that “investigators on the committee ... were also complicit in this type of poorly designed, cruel animal experimentation.” And while Oz didn’t abuse any puppies directly, Dell’Orto pointed out, “When your name is on the experiment, and the way the experiment is designed inflicts such cruelty to these animals, by design, there’s a problem.”
Of course, John Fetterman, being John Fetterman, wasted no time in tweaking this tweedy terrier tormenter.
Love my @LeviFetterman + ArtieGirl. Hugging them extra tight tonight It would be *so* nice if everyone replied to this thread with pictures of their pupspic.twitter.com/B5dQTIxFZz
— John Fetterman (@JohnFetterman) October 4, 2022
For the nontweeters:
Naturally, many, many non-dog torturers obliged.
You get the idea.
John Fetterman = happy, playful pups.
Dr. Oz = puppies snuggling up to their dead littermates in Hefty bags for a fleeting dose of comfort and warmth as the light in their eyes dims like the GOP’s chances of taking the Senate.
Say, maybe it’s about time for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to pay our good doctor a visit.
It’s clear that Mehmet Oz is the worst possible choice for Pennsylvanians. Chip in $3 or more to help John Fetterman send him back to New Jersey, not the Senate!
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.