Why does it seem like the mainstream media isn’t taking the very real danger of America losing its democracy seriously? When Germany invaded France in 1940, did newspapers fret over what those rich pastries were going to do to Himmler’s triglyceride levels? Because that’s kind of what this moment feels like.
Hey, MSM—Donald Trump will try to steal the 2024 election if he glimpses a path and hasn’t yet choked to death on a 47-egg Denver omelet with no veggies and extra gummy worms. Focus, motherfuckers!
Needless to say, this shit is appalling. NBC News and Meet the Press, which can’t seem to shake their both-sides bullshit even though one side is currently laser-focused on euthanizing America, took a story that should alarm every citizen of every liberal democracy in the world and slapped a banal headline on it that seems specially designed to tickle the tender Teutonic testes of every white Christian supremacist MAGA mite in the country.
Check this out:
For the nontweeters:
Okay, sure. Now try: “Trump corruptly intends to install vassal legislators to do his bidding and shiv our democracy in 2024.” Because that’s the freaking story:
It seems clear that if Trump runs in 2024, his strategy will be two-pronged: 1) Try to win legitimately or, failing that, 2) threaten and wheedle people in charge of election administration across the country to nullify the election. And I really doubt he’s going to focus all that much on No. 1.
How do I know this is his strategy? Because he already fucking tried it, you gormless, semi-cognizant flesh-bots. And he won’t shut up about it:
We have a likely 2024 Republican nominee who is actively arming the ramparts to oppose U.S. democracy. The press has traditionally been one of the most important bulwarks against tyranny in this country, but they’re failing this test big-league. If Godzilla pokes his head out of the ocean and starts stomping on Orange Juliuses, you don’t run a headline that reads, “Enormous radioactive reptile goes long on Jamba Juice stock.”
I know Donald Trump’s attempts to destroy democracy are, yes, banal at this point, but that doesn’t make them any less evil. We should be alarmed. No, scratch that. We should be fucking panicked. But because the mainstream media wants to be “fair,” it seems determined not to point out the clear villain—and the villainous shit he consistently tries to get away with.
If you let Hannibal Lecter out of his cage, he will eat your face. Just because everyone knows this doesn’t mean you should underplay the danger. And you sure as shit shouldn’t let him write restaurant reviews after he’s done flossing. (Right, Wall Street Journal?)
Wake the fuck up, media. This isn’t a horse race anymore. I’ve never seen a Kentucky Derby where one of the owners placed snipers at various points along the track to take out the competing horses. This is a slow-moving coup, plain and simple.
Good God, do your freaking jobs.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Hey, MSM—Donald Trump will try to steal the 2024 election if he glimpses a path and hasn’t yet choked to death on a 47-egg Denver omelet with no veggies and extra gummy worms. Focus, motherfuckers!
Needless to say, this shit is appalling. NBC News and Meet the Press, which can’t seem to shake their both-sides bullshit even though one side is currently laser-focused on euthanizing America, took a story that should alarm every citizen of every liberal democracy in the world and slapped a banal headline on it that seems specially designed to tickle the tender Teutonic testes of every white Christian supremacist MAGA mite in the country.
Check this out:
For the nontweeters:
Okay, sure. Now try: “Trump corruptly intends to install vassal legislators to do his bidding and shiv our democracy in 2024.” Because that’s the freaking story:
It seems clear that if Trump runs in 2024, his strategy will be two-pronged: 1) Try to win legitimately or, failing that, 2) threaten and wheedle people in charge of election administration across the country to nullify the election. And I really doubt he’s going to focus all that much on No. 1.
How do I know this is his strategy? Because he already fucking tried it, you gormless, semi-cognizant flesh-bots. And he won’t shut up about it:
We have a likely 2024 Republican nominee who is actively arming the ramparts to oppose U.S. democracy. The press has traditionally been one of the most important bulwarks against tyranny in this country, but they’re failing this test big-league. If Godzilla pokes his head out of the ocean and starts stomping on Orange Juliuses, you don’t run a headline that reads, “Enormous radioactive reptile goes long on Jamba Juice stock.”
I know Donald Trump’s attempts to destroy democracy are, yes, banal at this point, but that doesn’t make them any less evil. We should be alarmed. No, scratch that. We should be fucking panicked. But because the mainstream media wants to be “fair,” it seems determined not to point out the clear villain—and the villainous shit he consistently tries to get away with.
If you let Hannibal Lecter out of his cage, he will eat your face. Just because everyone knows this doesn’t mean you should underplay the danger. And you sure as shit shouldn’t let him write restaurant reviews after he’s done flossing. (Right, Wall Street Journal?)
Wake the fuck up, media. This isn’t a horse race anymore. I’ve never seen a Kentucky Derby where one of the owners placed snipers at various points along the track to take out the competing horses. This is a slow-moving coup, plain and simple.
Good God, do your freaking jobs.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.