Conservatives have suddenly made ex-Marine Paul Whelan’s release a cause célèbre—mainly because a Democratic president just freed a Black lesbian woman in a one-for-one prisoner swap, and the optics on the story are too promising for this bevy of bigots to pass up. So because President Biden didn’t exchange 5,000 Taliban fighters for literally nothing—and because a white man staying in stir while a Black woman goes free upsets their delicate, snowflake-y sensibilities—MAGAland is acting like this is the worst betrayal of our nation since Mike Pence refused to sit quietly for his extrajudicial hanging.
In fact, the trundle cart of pumpkin-spiced beefalo teats who stole dozens of top secret government documents and continues to lobby for an end to end American democracy is certain that Biden’s deal is an anti-American outrage.
On his Truth Social website, Donald Trump declared that Paul Whelan should have been released in lieu of WNBA star Brittney Griner, because sniping from the sidelines is what this Whitman’s Turd Sampler does best.
Hmm, well if he could have been let out for the asking, it’s pretty weird that Trump ostensibly never asked. After all, Whelan was apprehended in Russia in 2018, when Donald Trump was still pretending to be president.
And guess what! Whelan’s family has noticed. Whelan’s twin brother, David, is calling Trump out for suddenly advocating for Paul after he can no longer do anything about it.
For the nontweeters:
And then there was Whelan’s sister, Elizabeth. According to a November 2019 story in The Atlantic, Elizabeth Whelan got exactly nowhere when she tried to get the Trump White House to pay more attention to her brother’s case. So imagine how she must feel when she hears the phlegmatic fuck who was president when he was captured say he could have been released with a single phone call.
So while the Biden administration acknowledged Whelan’s predicament and vowed to keep working to bring him home, Trump apparently needed to preserve his tweety time for more important issues, like the Oscars’ dismal TV ratings.
Meanwhile, David Whelan told the Canadian Broadcasting Co. that he has nothing but positive feelings toward Griner and her family.
“Every family of a wrongful detainee feels good for another wrongful detainee coming home, to know they are back with their loved ones,” he said. “We hope that it will eventually be our day.”
We hope so, too, David. If only Donald Trump hadn’t hated America so much and been so unwilling to make deals with Russia that actually helped someone other than Donald Trump.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
In fact, the trundle cart of pumpkin-spiced beefalo teats who stole dozens of top secret government documents and continues to lobby for an end to end American democracy is certain that Biden’s deal is an anti-American outrage.
On his Truth Social website, Donald Trump declared that Paul Whelan should have been released in lieu of WNBA star Brittney Griner, because sniping from the sidelines is what this Whitman’s Turd Sampler does best.
Hmm, well if he could have been let out for the asking, it’s pretty weird that Trump ostensibly never asked. After all, Whelan was apprehended in Russia in 2018, when Donald Trump was still pretending to be president.
And guess what! Whelan’s family has noticed. Whelan’s twin brother, David, is calling Trump out for suddenly advocating for Paul after he can no longer do anything about it.
For the nontweeters:
And then there was Whelan’s sister, Elizabeth. According to a November 2019 story in The Atlantic, Elizabeth Whelan got exactly nowhere when she tried to get the Trump White House to pay more attention to her brother’s case. So imagine how she must feel when she hears the phlegmatic fuck who was president when he was captured say he could have been released with a single phone call.
So while the Biden administration acknowledged Whelan’s predicament and vowed to keep working to bring him home, Trump apparently needed to preserve his tweety time for more important issues, like the Oscars’ dismal TV ratings.
Meanwhile, David Whelan told the Canadian Broadcasting Co. that he has nothing but positive feelings toward Griner and her family.
“Every family of a wrongful detainee feels good for another wrongful detainee coming home, to know they are back with their loved ones,” he said. “We hope that it will eventually be our day.”
We hope so, too, David. If only Donald Trump hadn’t hated America so much and been so unwilling to make deals with Russia that actually helped someone other than Donald Trump.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.