The perpetually ululating mustache otherwise known as Mike Lindell has said a lot of stupid things over the course his diatribes. To an extent that most people would never believe, he says a lot of the same stupid things over and over and over and over again. But then, once in a blue moon, something brand-new manages to ooze out.
In case you hadn’t heard, the by-now-infamous MyPillow CEO is convinced the November presidential election was stolen in the middle of the night by the Chinese, who surreptitiously installed Joe Biden as president. What’s worse, all we liberals know it happened, but we’re disgusting quislings who are doing awful things to this country because we hate Trump and Jesus and puppies and the American way and the most comfortable pillows ever offered for a 66% discount anywhere in the known multiverse. That’s the Cliffs Notes version, anyway. You don’t want the whole book. You’d be better off trying to read Ulysses in a single afternoon while a Scotch-besotted Rudy Giuliani rides you around your living room like a Shetland pony.
But prattle as he will (and, presumably, must), the thoroughly discredited Lindell really can’t say anything new about the election that will matter at this point—unless, of course, it relates to the pending $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit Dominion Voting Systems has filed against him. In Lindell’s crack-flashback fever dreams, Dominion is Public Enemy No. 1—the sinister voting machine manufacturer that, in Pillow Man’s ramshackle simulacrum of a mind, gave the keys to the kingdom to Chinese anti-Trump apparatchiks. So you’d think if you were being sued for an amount neither you nor anyone in your camp could reasonably be expected to afford, you’d watch your fucking mouth. Of course, if you think that, you’re not Mike Lindell:
Well, that’s a nice, inspiring, all-American story, huh? Magnanimous business owner makes 200 hardworking Americans’ dreams of working in a nondescript pillow factory come true.
Except for one thing …
According to Dominion’s lawsuit, Lindell is using his platform and his baseless accusations about the 2020 election to sell pillows. In other words, he’s profiting off his nonsense. That’s a problem for Lindell, of course, because his boasts about prospering in the wake of his efforts to restore Trump to the throne contradict a key part of his legal team’s defense against Dominion’s lawsuit:
In other words, Lindell has apparently just thrown himself under the bus.
Salon reporter Zachary Petrizzo, who has been “outed” as an “enemy of our country” by Lindell himself, spoke with veteran trial attorney Max Kennerly to get his take on Lindell’s batshit bleating. If Kennerly audibly face-palmed during his comments, Petrizzo didn’t note it, but the implication, perhaps, is there: "It's quite rare for civil defendants in any case to admit a connection between the alleged wrongdoing and their income," Kennerly told Salon. "It's particularly unusual for defamation defendants to draw a connection between their allegedly defamatory statements and their own wallet—typically, the plaintiff has to fight just to show that could have been part of the motivation. By and large, defamation cases are an uphill battle, but it seems like Lindell is committed to making it a downhill slope for Dominion.”
Oh, let’s hope so. Someone other than that Q-viking needs to face repercussions for this months long anti-democracy hootenanny we’ve all been forced to endure—and to be honest, losing $1.3 billion wouldn’t be nearly enough to make up for what Lindell and his ilk have been doing to us.
But, hey, it would be a start, now wouldn’t it?
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
In case you hadn’t heard, the by-now-infamous MyPillow CEO is convinced the November presidential election was stolen in the middle of the night by the Chinese, who surreptitiously installed Joe Biden as president. What’s worse, all we liberals know it happened, but we’re disgusting quislings who are doing awful things to this country because we hate Trump and Jesus and puppies and the American way and the most comfortable pillows ever offered for a 66% discount anywhere in the known multiverse. That’s the Cliffs Notes version, anyway. You don’t want the whole book. You’d be better off trying to read Ulysses in a single afternoon while a Scotch-besotted Rudy Giuliani rides you around your living room like a Shetland pony.
But prattle as he will (and, presumably, must), the thoroughly discredited Lindell really can’t say anything new about the election that will matter at this point—unless, of course, it relates to the pending $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit Dominion Voting Systems has filed against him. In Lindell’s crack-flashback fever dreams, Dominion is Public Enemy No. 1—the sinister voting machine manufacturer that, in Pillow Man’s ramshackle simulacrum of a mind, gave the keys to the kingdom to Chinese anti-Trump apparatchiks. So you’d think if you were being sued for an amount neither you nor anyone in your camp could reasonably be expected to afford, you’d watch your fucking mouth. Of course, if you think that, you’re not Mike Lindell:
Well, that’s a nice, inspiring, all-American story, huh? Magnanimous business owner makes 200 hardworking Americans’ dreams of working in a nondescript pillow factory come true.
Except for one thing …
According to Dominion’s lawsuit, Lindell is using his platform and his baseless accusations about the 2020 election to sell pillows. In other words, he’s profiting off his nonsense. That’s a problem for Lindell, of course, because his boasts about prospering in the wake of his efforts to restore Trump to the throne contradict a key part of his legal team’s defense against Dominion’s lawsuit:
In other words, Lindell has apparently just thrown himself under the bus.
Salon reporter Zachary Petrizzo, who has been “outed” as an “enemy of our country” by Lindell himself, spoke with veteran trial attorney Max Kennerly to get his take on Lindell’s batshit bleating. If Kennerly audibly face-palmed during his comments, Petrizzo didn’t note it, but the implication, perhaps, is there: "It's quite rare for civil defendants in any case to admit a connection between the alleged wrongdoing and their income," Kennerly told Salon. "It's particularly unusual for defamation defendants to draw a connection between their allegedly defamatory statements and their own wallet—typically, the plaintiff has to fight just to show that could have been part of the motivation. By and large, defamation cases are an uphill battle, but it seems like Lindell is committed to making it a downhill slope for Dominion.”
Oh, let’s hope so. Someone other than that Q-viking needs to face repercussions for this months long anti-democracy hootenanny we’ve all been forced to endure—and to be honest, losing $1.3 billion wouldn’t be nearly enough to make up for what Lindell and his ilk have been doing to us.
But, hey, it would be a start, now wouldn’t it?
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.