Handling public relations for Rudy Giuliani seems like a particularly Sisyphean task. So imagine if it was your first job out of college. To begin with, having “Rudy Giuliani” on your résumé can’t be good. You’d be better off leading with “June 2019-August 2021: Sponge-bathed Randy Quaid” than willfully associating yourself with the phantasmagorical twilight of Rudes’ career. Ah, but don’t tell Christianné Allen that.
Allen, a young MAGA “influencer” who hopped onto the Giuliani bandwagon after it had already thrown most of its wheels, is now stepping down—just in time for the 20th anniversary of 9/11, a milestone Rudy is sure to celebrate with a car wash bucket full of Scotch and a cheesy radiator pita or two.
Of course, “America’s Mayor” hasn’t enjoyed anything resembling folk hero status for some time now. Whether it’s being named Donald Trump’s cybersecurity adviser before locking himself out of his own iPhone, doing possibly (probably?) illegal things in Ukraine to enhance the electoral prospects of the worst presidential candidate in the history of democratic self-rule, leaking like a BP oil well while attempting to overturn the results of a free and fair election, or simply rubbing one out in front of Borat, Rudy has been a PR nightmare for years, and it looks like the 22-year-old Allen has had enough. She’s resigned from her job at Giuliani Communications LLC “effective this week,” according to The Daily Beast.
Well, Donald Trump abandons everyone after they’ve stopped being useful to him. But when an eager, wide-eyed 22-year-old jumps ship, that’s when you know the iceberg has won.
Luckily, The Daily Beast reports, Rudes has a new team all lined up.
Okay, well, his new PR maven appears to have plenty of experience with both unstable celebrities and gratuitous use of boobs to sell chicken wings—so this should be a lateral move for him.
Naturally, Allen, who, as Giuliani’s lead PR person, has already been through enough public relations disasters for several lifetimes, was diplomatic on her way out the door: “As I reflect, I am proud of the accomplishments we achieved,” she said. “One of which was building Rudy Giuliani’s Common Sense podcast from conception to one of the top political podcasts in the country in under a year. Looking forward, I once again feel blessed to have the opportunity for continued growth and development within a rising tech startup.”
As for Giuliani, he recently felt compelled to tell NBC New York that he has not “gone off the rails” and is “not an alcoholic.” I had assumed he’d said it from a railroad ditch while drinking from a Sterno can hidden in an old sock he’d found in his grandma’s woods, but it looks like he was in a New York City park or something.
Great time to lose your PR flack, huh? Good luck to Allen as she forges a career outside of Rudyland, although the Turning Point USA “ambassador” doesn’t seem like she’s ready to leave MAGA world.
But after babysitting Rudy for the past two years, anything she does will have to seem like a relief.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
Allen, a young MAGA “influencer” who hopped onto the Giuliani bandwagon after it had already thrown most of its wheels, is now stepping down—just in time for the 20th anniversary of 9/11, a milestone Rudy is sure to celebrate with a car wash bucket full of Scotch and a cheesy radiator pita or two.
Of course, “America’s Mayor” hasn’t enjoyed anything resembling folk hero status for some time now. Whether it’s being named Donald Trump’s cybersecurity adviser before locking himself out of his own iPhone, doing possibly (probably?) illegal things in Ukraine to enhance the electoral prospects of the worst presidential candidate in the history of democratic self-rule, leaking like a BP oil well while attempting to overturn the results of a free and fair election, or simply rubbing one out in front of Borat, Rudy has been a PR nightmare for years, and it looks like the 22-year-old Allen has had enough. She’s resigned from her job at Giuliani Communications LLC “effective this week,” according to The Daily Beast.
Well, Donald Trump abandons everyone after they’ve stopped being useful to him. But when an eager, wide-eyed 22-year-old jumps ship, that’s when you know the iceberg has won.
Luckily, The Daily Beast reports, Rudes has a new team all lined up.
Okay, well, his new PR maven appears to have plenty of experience with both unstable celebrities and gratuitous use of boobs to sell chicken wings—so this should be a lateral move for him.
Naturally, Allen, who, as Giuliani’s lead PR person, has already been through enough public relations disasters for several lifetimes, was diplomatic on her way out the door: “As I reflect, I am proud of the accomplishments we achieved,” she said. “One of which was building Rudy Giuliani’s Common Sense podcast from conception to one of the top political podcasts in the country in under a year. Looking forward, I once again feel blessed to have the opportunity for continued growth and development within a rising tech startup.”
As for Giuliani, he recently felt compelled to tell NBC New York that he has not “gone off the rails” and is “not an alcoholic.” I had assumed he’d said it from a railroad ditch while drinking from a Sterno can hidden in an old sock he’d found in his grandma’s woods, but it looks like he was in a New York City park or something.
Great time to lose your PR flack, huh? Good luck to Allen as she forges a career outside of Rudyland, although the Turning Point USA “ambassador” doesn’t seem like she’s ready to leave MAGA world.
But after babysitting Rudy for the past two years, anything she does will have to seem like a relief.
It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.