The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

[Brexiter]

Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.


Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HPUKParents on Twitter for more!

The bad news is my toddler dumped my husband’s large water bottle all over the couch and himself. The good news is now he’s had his bath

— Maryfairyboberry??‍ (@maryfairybobrry) November 14, 2021​

I told my toddler he was so cute I could just eat him up and now he’s bringing me snacks from the kitchen so I’m not hungry.

— kidversations (@kidversations_) November 16, 2021​

Shorty been 2 for less that 24 hours ? why ain’t nobody warn me pic.twitter.com/FoEwq5bukE

— Mani ??‍ (@mami_manii) November 19, 2021​

My kids’ friends’ mom always has some exciting craft for them to do when they go to her house. When my kids’ friends are over, I just sit on the couch and occasionally call out “does anyone want chips?”

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 16, 2021​

Half the parenting vocabulary is the word “wow”

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 16, 2021​

*Googles Thanksgiving recipes*

*Googles easy Thanksgiving recipes*

*Googles really easy Thanksgiving recipes*

*Googles is McDonald’s open on Thanksgiving*

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 14, 2021​

My toddler just slapped me with one glove. She may not know what it means but I’m a woman of honour. We duel at dawn.

— Brona C. Titley (@bronactitley) November 13, 2021​

Any time parents try to have a romantic moment pic.twitter.com/KIDRmLAvBC

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 17, 2021​

My kids were screaming at each other.

I told them to stop fighting.

They said they weren't fighting. They were playing "Karens."

Now everybody is grounded.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 18, 2021​

Nobody prepared me for how loudly babies sleep

— Erin Ryan (@morninggloria) November 17, 2021​

10 said she doesn't like my coffee breath, but she'd rather deal with that than my "decaf personality," I think she's figured out marriage.

— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) November 18, 2021​

My daughter's eyes were barely open this morning when she said "mommy I want to wear a really pretty outfit today."

— Beth Newell (@bethnew) November 16, 2021​

“Daddy, are you going to pick me up from Art Club or do I have to ride the bus that smells like bare feet and underwear?” and other ways 11 y/o’s communicate with their parents.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 18, 2021​

Mom: Don't wind up the kids before bed
Grandpa: pic.twitter.com/q8hNc4RYPv

— The Dad (@thedad) November 14, 2021​

i feel a little slimmer after a week of eating mostly goldfish crackers, clementines, fig newtons and string cheese…im calling this the toddler diet

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 13, 2021​

Today I had a significant first-time experience as a parent to young children…

These kids just pranked me with a whoopee cushion. While I was on a work call.

— Meena Harris (@meena) November 19, 2021​

Me: You can pick between Superman or Spiderman.

3yo: I pick Batman!

— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) November 18, 2021​

Making a mad dash home to grab my kid’s mask before the bus comes is my gym membership

— Melissafent on the Hillifent (@awkwardenabled) November 15, 2021​

Our TV remote stopped working and 12 year old just went ahead and replaced the batteries. He didn’t even try giving the old ones a little shake to bring them back to life. Have I taught this boy NOTHING

— three time daddy (@threetimedaddy) November 13, 2021​

My kids ran out of corks for art projects so I ordered a case of wine, I feel this is my moment to shine

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 14, 2021​

told my kids to build a fort to get them off their iPads, so now they're in the fort, watching their iPads

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 18, 2021​

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