Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HPUKParents on Twitter for more!
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HPUKParents on Twitter for more!
In the middle of the millionth meltdown of the day, my 5yo said “I’m just so frustrating” (instead of “frustrated”) and I’ve never agreed with her more
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 6, 2021
Hey if you could spare a prayer for my 2-year-old right now, his granola bar wrapper was pulled down slightly too low and it’s unclear if a recovery from this is possible.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 9, 2021
I wish I had the same confidence as my 5 year old foster child jumping on the trampoline who tells me to watch him in case he hits his head on an airplane
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) December 9, 2021
GET BACK IN HERE WE'RE WATCHING THIS CHRISTMAS MOVIE AS A FAMILY DAMMIT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!!
-and other fun Christmas things I say
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 4, 2021
If 2 asks for toast, he means peanut butter on bread. DO NOT, and I cannot stress this enough, TOAST THE BREAD.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) December 4, 2021
3 got a toy stethoscope and I’m happy to report that my heart beep sounds very good
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 10, 2021
my son was asked to do a talk at school about his family holiday traditions. he told us he spoke to the class about Hanukkah. we’re not Jewish though…
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 10, 2021
My children won’t say a word all morning until it’s time to leave for school, then they host a talk show
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 7, 2021
thoughts and prayers for my husband as our five year old looked him straight in the eyes and told him “your jokes aren’t funny”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 5, 2021
Watching football with your 11 y/o daughter is fun because when you get frustrated at your team, she asks calming questions like, “Daddy, do you really think you can do better than the players?”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 5, 2021
When my kids hand me another and longer Christmas list pic.twitter.com/dEaQFFOcSA
— Yelisa (@motherplaylist) December 5, 2021
6 was excited to meet the pizza at the door/set up the food at the table for the family. He ran from the door and threw the box on the table. What could go wrong? He then opened the box he accused me of ordering an upside down pizza, “Why would you do that?!”
— Mummy Dear (@ThatMummyLife) December 9, 2021
I never understood how the little drummer boy’s parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 6, 2021
If you buy a box of donuts for your kids and then eat the box of donuts before your kids see it, it’s as if the box of donuts never existed, I hope
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 7, 2021
5 told me she can’t help me clean up her toys because she’s tired from all the work she does in kindergarten. When I asked her what she meant by work, she said “ugh they’re always making us write our names”.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 7, 2021
Parents: please wipe your nose
Kids: ok pic.twitter.com/8TGW7rbMBr
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) December 8, 2021
Red Cross: A blood donation is the best gift you can give to someone.
[Christmas morning]
Kids: [all screaming while opening their presents]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 4, 2021
Asked my 6yo if she was a tough cookie and she said “no, because cookies crumble” and now I have a life coach.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 6, 2021
People warned me there would be drama raising my four daughters, and they were right.
My girls are constantly making up and performing their own plays.
Musicals can break out at any moment.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 7, 2021
I was humming songs to calm my newborn and realized I was humming Rage Against The Machine
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 5, 2021
I think my teen finally got cold today because he left for school wearing a long sleeve Christmas sweater with his shorts
— Maryfairyboberry??(@maryfairybobrry) December 8, 2021