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Brexit may have begun but it is not over, indeed it may never be finished.

This week on The Brief: Mónica Guzman on communicating effectively across the aisle

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How can Democrats get their message out effectively ahead of 2022? Is it worth having conversations with folks from the other side of the aisle? How can we communicate more effectively with those we don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye with? This week’s episode of The Brief explores the answers to these and many other questions. Hosts Markos Moulitsas and Kerry Eleveld spoke with guest Mónica Guzman, journalist and author of the upcoming book I Never Thought of it That Way, which is now available for pre-order.

Moulitsas opened the show by acknowledging the reality Democrats are currently facing after a tough 2021 election cycle, at least part of which he attributed to a failure to get their messages across effectively:

The reality is that we’re not doing well electorally. We barely beat Donald Trump, who should have been blown out of the water. We just lost in Virginia statewide, all statewide offices, and we almost lost in very, very blue New Jersey. And a big part of that is that they’re a lot better at talking to their own people … we’re not doing a good job of convincing anybody to come our way. We’re not doing a good job of convincing our own core supporters to turn out and vote in the necessary numbers, and that’s all a communications issue. We are failing the communication game.

“If we’re not communicating well, maybe it’s time to get past that reflective anger [that tells us to simply avoid talking to those across the aisle] and maybe start thinking of a better way of engaging, because politically it’s not doing us any favors,” he added.

Eleveld pushed back on that idea a bit. “I’m not sure that what we saw in Virginia was a pushback … it might not have as much to do with our poor communication as much as it does ... the natural cycle of who’s in the White House and the fact that many people, even if they were Republicans, hated Trump.” Eleveld’s own father was a Republican, and she recalled having conversations with him about then-President George W. Bush. “There are ways of engaging [conservatives] that are not offensive, that are not so aggressive” that may be better at getting them to see alternative points of view, she noted. “We need to engage people in a way that draws them in rather than shuts them out.”

Moulitsas brought up the point that communication touches every facet of our lives. How we understand conflicts can shape our worldview and how we understand everything—thus making communication is one of the most powerful tools in politics. He himself has cut off family members who support Trump, deciding not to engage with them at all. “How big of a mistake did I make in cutting those people off?” Moulitsas mused. “How does [choosing to communicate] lead to a better outcome than the polarization we have right now?”

The pair also reflected on how the conversations around gay rights and gay marriage have hugely shifted the needle on LGBTQ rights over the past 10 years. Moulitsas called the push to legalize gay marriage and normalize queerness the “greatest victory in the last decade.”

As Eleveld explained, it was a diverse movement that took a lot of hard work. She also touched on the importance of sharing stories to humanize gay people:

I don’t think this was guided by any hand above … there’s no one messenger. In fact, in some ways, that helped us, but it also was like, ‘Man, why don’t we have an MLK or someone who sort of speaks for everyone in a way?’ And we just never had that person. We had lots of different heroes, don’t get me wrong, but not one person that we looked to, and I think that was because it was such a diverse movement. Culturally diverse, diverse backgrounds, etc. So I don’t think we went into it like ‘I want to persuade someone.’ It happened in a desperate moment in time when we were going through a public health disaster … where a generation of queer Americans were like, ‘I have to speak my truth or else people are going to die.’ When you have that dinner table conversation, you say, ‘Here I am, I’m human, please see me for who I am.’

Eleveld and Moulitsas then brought on Guzman to talk about how to communicate effectively about political issues.

The premise of Guzman’s book lies in the idea that not being able to exchange ideas and have open dialogues between both sides leads to serious issues. Invited by Moulitsas to explain how she got the idea to write her book and what inspired her, she said:

If we can’t get across divides in a polarized world, we can’t see the world at all … without being able to see the world and see the people in it for who they are, there’s a lot we’re missing. And then everything we do when it comes to policy and activism, but also our own relationships, is based on a whole host of misperceptions that we’re not doing enough to check. So it’s about approaching people in a different way than what is normal in our discourse these days. And we all know that what is normal in our discourse these days is not great, not very effective ... whether you’re partisan or not, whether you’re exhausted or still in the fight, something about the fight has to change.

Guzman is liberal, and her parents are very conservative Mexican immigrants who voted for Trump. What made her really pause was when her liberal friends would say things about people who voted for Trump that made her think, “Eh, that isn’t right. There’s more to it than that, and I think we can get more curious and open and see more.”

Eleveld wondered how Guzman even got herself to the point of wanting to be curious, thinking that she wanted to bridge that gap and could find a way of communicating about these things that also wasn’t a betrayal of herself and her personal beliefs.

Guzman understands that “our personal beliefs feel very much a part of who we are, so to even want to get into a conversation with someone, that means that you feel that you’re putting them at risk.” Her work as a journalist also helped her really understand others’ perspectives. Having done this work for 17 years, she has had a lot of conversations that are focused on getting to know someone without judgment:

My job is to help society understand itself. So I do that without judgment, and then I come out and I try tell that story as loyally as I can to that person’s real experience. Having done that a lot, I’ve learned that a lot of the assumptions I come in with with someone’s story are just wrong. In fact, most of them … I can always be surprised. So it’s led me to this place of whatever I think this person represents is probably incorrect. There’s probably a whole heck of a lot more to it than that, and if I choose to just continue to believe my assumption and presumption about this person and their beliefs, I might be missing something that will actually help me see myself in their story—and will make the work ahead of me, if it’s activism, if it’s pushing a cause, more effective anyway. Because I’ll understand more of the intricacies and complexities that actually make it up, instead of actually pushing something a little bit ghostly, a little bit false, a little bit too monstrous, that isn’t even the world we’re in.

“From a communications standpoint, have I missed an opportunity to influence those family members [that I cut off]? Have I contributed to a culture that has actually harmed Democrats and liberals electorally? We have the numbers, we should be winning a lot more. We’re not. We’re not communicating [well] to our own supporters, we’re not communicating to persuadables, and certainly not people who are already written off as deplorable. So I’m at a point where, and your book was a big part of this, Monica, I’m starting to reflect back and wonder what have I done to contribute to this and what can I do to change that?” Moulitsas asked. “I know I’m wrong [about people not being persuadable]. Can you tell me why I’m wrong?”

As Guzman noted, “It’s good that we have partisans. It’s good that we have fighters. The fight is good and important, and it must never end. And I think sometimes the perception is that trying to embrace more curiosity or stay more open to [the fact] that we may not know everything we should know about people and there might be common ground to find means that I am being disloyal to my convictions, that I am abandoning my values, right?”

Her approach is to make sure people feel seen and heard during conversations and that they are not simply about convincing the other person about your side:

it makes sense that the strategy is sort of who can you get, who can you not get, and that the whole game is persuasion. But I think that’s actually the blocker. That because we are so dead set on, it’s got to be about persuading them that we’re right, we’re not focused on what we can learn from them. Because again, what we can learn from them always feels like an abdication of what we believe. But without understanding more of what led people to their beliefs, I just think there’s just no chance to do adequate persuasion. Somebody gave me a quote the other day … ‘a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.’ … People can kind of raise the white flag just to get you to shut up, but you didn’t really make an impact. So you’re going to need a whole new strategy.

Talking to people who voted for Trump has yielded important insights as well. Guzman offered a real-life example, describing a trip she and other Democrats took to Sherman County, a rural county in Oregon where 74% of voters went for Trump. While she was there, one farmer she spoke to seemed to be aligned well with Democrats on many issues, and even added that he supported same-sex marriage. Yet when he talked about the reasons he voted for Trump, he explained how deeply he cared about Waters of the United States, a crucial federal policy about bodies of water and when they can fall under federal regulation. Ultimately, WOTUS affects many farmers who fear that the rule could be interpreted in a way to affect rain-made seasonal ponds on their land. In the end, this farmer voted for Trump because he couldn’t trust Democrats to take his concerns seriously on the matter.

“For several of the liberals on that trip, that was an ‘aha’ moment. They thought, ‘They must have voted this way because they feel opposite of me,’ but they voted on an economic issue. When you’re partisan … you’re missing a big chunk of what actually motivates other people,” she said of her takeaway from that conversation.

Ultimately, Guzman encouraged the audience to be curious and ask what is missing, since it is often so easy to “rationalize our way to disliking the other side.” Go to the primary source and ask, “What are your concerns with this? ... You might actually find stuff that is really surprising and relatable. And if you don’t see the whole story, how are you going to solve the problems?”

Watch yesterday’s episode below:

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