24 Tweets About Weekends With Kids That Will Either Make You Laugh Or Cry

[Brexiter]

TGIF... or is it really? Those two weekend days that used to mean staying out, sleeping in, brunch, exercising or seeing friends change drastically after having kids.

Luckily, while parenting may mean trading in all your free time, it doesn’t have to mean rescinding your sense of humour. Here are 24 posts on X, formerly Twitter, about weekends with kids.

Just going to install a Visa tap-to-pay point at my front door so I can more easily spend $100 every.single.time we leave the house.

— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) October 7, 2023​

Saturday mornings are the best!

I was able to sleep in, I made a huge breakfast and I got to spend time with the kids. Then my son pointed to my chin and asked, "Is that a whisker?" Now Saturday mornings suck.

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) June 5, 2021​

I asked my toddler what museum he wanted to go to this weekend and he said “Grandma’s House” which is a way funnier burn than he ever could’ve meant but I respect it deeply.

— The Dad (@thedad) April 21, 2023​

What I’ve learned this weekend with my toddler is you must always have a structured activity that gets us out of the house every single weekend and keeps him constantly moving outdoors or everyone will go insane.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 6, 2022​

Is there anything that screams “suburban parent on a Sunday morning” more than making a run to Costco while the kids are at religious school?

— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) December 11, 2022​

I didn’t have the energy to get caught up on email this weekend but I did pick 1,110 weeds off my daughter’s new Animal Crossing island so I think my productivity should be celebrated.

— Dr. Stephanie Mullins-Sweatt (@dr_sweatt) October 22, 2023​

Other people's kids on Sunday: cereal

Our kids on Sunday:

Mom, we'd like a brunch with bananas foster crepes, artisanal craft bacon, and mockmosas

— Tiffany Booooo (@TiffanyBond) February 19, 2023​

Kid swap on a multiple-birthday-party weekend. pic.twitter.com/elpk1TMLki

— DVC Dad (@thedvcdad) October 21, 2023​

It is Sunday. I have brought the kids to Costco - otherwise known as middle aged dad Disneyland. My transformation is almost complete.

— Wajahat Ali (@WajahatAli) July 23, 2023​

Before kids: I'm exhausted. Thank god its the weekend so I can sleep as much as I want for a couple days

After kids: I'm exhausted. Thank god my kid is interested enough in this Youtube video that I can maybe nap for 10 minutes

— The Dad (@thedad) October 27, 2019​

Mon: Take kids to storytime.

Tues: Take kids to park.

Wed: Take kids to meet firefighters.

Thurs: Take kids to science museum.

Fri: Take kids to open gym.

Sat: Take kids to children’s museum.

5 on Saturday evening: We never do anything fun!

— Unexpected SAHM (@UnexpectedSAHM) June 18, 2022​

Monday-Friday: my kids must be dragged/coaxed out of bed at 7:45 to barely make it on time for school

The weekend: Wake up like they’ve had three cups of coffee at 6:45am

Why @Momademia

— Dr. Lindsay Malloy (@LMalloy) October 21, 2023​

Spent my Saturday night grocery shopping.

Expert mom level unlocked.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) August 26, 2018​

me: i'm going to build a shelf this weekend

9: do you even know how to do that?

i'm also selling a child.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 29, 2022​

Definitely have kids if you want woken up at dawn on a Saturday because your kid wants you to watch them watch a stranger play a video game you don’t even like on their tablet.

— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) July 1, 2023​

me: I’ll never become my mother I swear to God

also me: Saturday night, kids in bed, think I can make it to Home Goods before they close

— Pamela J. Hobart (@amelapay) April 18, 2021​

This morning as I relax and sip coffee while my kids stare at screens I’m realizing this is exactly the reason my parents let me watch so many Saturday morning cartoons

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) June 25, 2022​

Saturday Morning Games With My Kids

8yo: Dad, can we play (game where I have to get up)

Me: that depends. Can I take my coffee with me?

8yo: uhhh…

Me: it’s a deal-breaker…

— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) February 12, 2022​

Being off Saturday and Sunday as a mom is so stupid. Cause like why I’m off when my kids off??? Keep me home on a Monday while they asses in school so I can RELAX Omg.

— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) February 24, 2023​

It's 7:41am on a Saturday morning, and my kids have already said "Mama" "Mom" or "Mommy" approximately 852 times today.

— Jess Calarco (@JessicaCalarco) August 12, 2023​

I love when my kids have a friend over and that kid wakes us up at 6:30am whining “I want pancakes and bacon” to which I respond “Son, before 9am on Saturday in this house, you pop your own tart.”

— Emily Porter, M.D. (@dremilyportermd) January 16, 2021​

We have 2 car seats in my car and 2 car seats in my husbands car for convenience and my kids managed to throw up in all 4 this weekend yay

— neature vs norture (@chionogirl) October 15, 2023​

Overheard a mom alone with her 3 kids at the pumpkin patch say “guys we have to go or we will be late to Sky Zone”, that’s a lady who is paying the price to have the best sleep of her life.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 21, 2023​

I invite anyone who is on the fence about potentially having kids to join me the second Saturday in December as we embark on baking and decorating sugar cookies with three young children. You will walk out of my house and you will know. You. Will. Know.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) November 28, 2021​

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